Have you ever really wanted to write… but just did not seem to have the words to say what you want? That’s how I feel right now. I have so much to say, so much to share, but there is something inside of me keeping me quite!
With my new job I have not been able to blog like I would like to. I have fallen so far behind with reading friend’s blogs, bills, learning, and life in general. I hope when I am out of training my life can get back to something of what I had before.
I am sure there are those out there that are glad I have stepped back, but then they are not reading this. Not that there really is any readers for my rambling anyway…
Well here is what has been going on in most devistaing and life changing order…
1. Seth’s job downsized him, he was on unemployment, he got a new job, company closed… all this has left me in quite a financial bind… hopefully he has another job lined up (maybe 2!).
2. My sister lost her children to CPS. Where this does not directly impact my daily life, it is there, in the back of my head at every moment…
3. One of the young people died. They have ruled it suicide… he hung himself. I pray for him. It is hard to go into work and he is missing. He was one of my 2 favorite employees. He did as I asked and was really a wonderful kid. (Not that my other associates are not, he just stood out in a very wonderful way.)
4. I feel myself being distracted from the things that I love… including God. Not that I was very good at serving him, but now it seems I do not have time to learn and study as I would like to. This would be farther up the list, but as all things in religion it seems it is not really something we think about as much as we should.
5. The financial stuff has put a terrible strain on my and Seth’s relationship. So many times I have just wanted to walk away from it all. The credit cards, auto loan, cell phones, and him. Not that I would ever do such a thing, (I could not walk away from any of it.) I just feel so trapped right now by all of it. I know I love him and I have a responsibility to it ALL. But again… there it is.
There is more on my mind, but this is neither the time nor the place to put it out there. Please everyone I want you to know I am not avoiding anyone, I just have not been at a computer with the desire to write for a bit. If you have my phone number call me. If you have my email address, send me an email. There are many I wish to hear from, but again I am sure those I wish to hear from/see will not be reading this…
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
One Month
Has it really been one entire month since I posted!!! Well I will have to write something insitful soon.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sara Silverman
I hope this does not sound like I am complaining or venting. I am trying a new outlook on life. I wonder if it will stick.
To the point…
I know better than to watch shows by Sara Silverman, but I was drawn in by one episode and I made the mistake of watching it. It was about the abortion issue. I hope none of you saw it, if you did not, don’t go and look for it. Just take my word you do not want to see it. I wish I had not.
I wonder why she is so popular. I know of no one who thinks she is funny, this being from a group of wide religious beliefs and backgrounds. She tends to aggravate everyone I know. So why does she continue in the “comedy” field. Even articles have been written about how offensive she is. Though it never seems to matter. I am not saying comedians should be stopped from things that some find offensive, many of these jokes are the funniest. However, it is how the joke is delivered. She has a total lack of class; sense of humor, and poor mental abilities if she thinks her stuff is funny.
I am sure many disagree and I would not mind hearing alternative thoughts on the matter; however, overall I am very open-minded when it comes to the crap on TV. In fact I expect it to be just that… Crap! Though there is better crap than what she spouts and I wish someone would just take her off the air.
To the point…
I know better than to watch shows by Sara Silverman, but I was drawn in by one episode and I made the mistake of watching it. It was about the abortion issue. I hope none of you saw it, if you did not, don’t go and look for it. Just take my word you do not want to see it. I wish I had not.
I wonder why she is so popular. I know of no one who thinks she is funny, this being from a group of wide religious beliefs and backgrounds. She tends to aggravate everyone I know. So why does she continue in the “comedy” field. Even articles have been written about how offensive she is. Though it never seems to matter. I am not saying comedians should be stopped from things that some find offensive, many of these jokes are the funniest. However, it is how the joke is delivered. She has a total lack of class; sense of humor, and poor mental abilities if she thinks her stuff is funny.
I am sure many disagree and I would not mind hearing alternative thoughts on the matter; however, overall I am very open-minded when it comes to the crap on TV. In fact I expect it to be just that… Crap! Though there is better crap than what she spouts and I wish someone would just take her off the air.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
How Not to be A Gospel Coward By FR Powell, OP
Sunday, October 07, 2007
How Not to be a Gospel Coward
27th Sunday OT: Hab 1.2-3, 2.2-4; 2 Tim 1.6-8, 13-14; Luke 17.5-10
Fr. Philip N. Powell, OP
St Paul Hospital and Church of the Incarnation
Click to listen!
Are you a gospel coward? Is your heart weak and your spirit faint? Do you cringe or flinch or whine at the first sign of opposition? Do you think it always best to find a way around or between or under adversity? Do your hands and arms get rubbery at the thought of conflict, the mere mention of offense? Does your brain turn to mush and your strength drain away when the enemy approaches to confront you? Maybe you are a coward in more subtle ways—surrendering to fashion out of fear of exclusion; giving up the fight because your cause is ill-defined or poorly lead; retreating in the face of superior reason or more extensive experience? Do you abandon your gospel witness? Do you manifest cowardice when what is most needed is courage?
How easy it is for us to be ashamed of our “testimony to our Lord”! Paul admonishes Timothy “not to be ashamed” of the witness he himself makes to the gospel of Christ. Rather than being embarrassed by the prospect of telling others about the Lord’s freely given gift of forgiveness in mercy, Paul urges Timothy to “bear your share of the hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God.” We are either ashamed of the gospel, burdened by the adversity its preaching brings, or we are strengthened, en-joyed, made joyful by the “sound words that [we have] heard from [Paul].” The faith and love that are in Christ Jesus are our inheritance, our trust fund of grace and life, the exceedingly rich treasury of gratuitous help that we receive for no other reason than that our Father is Love and loves us always. Paul goes on to order Timothy to “[g]uard this rich trust with the help of the Holy Spirit that dwells with us.” Reminding, testifying, bearing-up-under, strengthening, hearing and seeing, guarding, and preaching—all of these we do now and tomorrow for the sake of Christ and our eternal lives with him. Thankfully, we do not do any of these alone, none without help. Our help is the Holy Spirit who dwells within us and among us.
Brothers and sisters, we have work to do. And there is no room for a coward’s heart in a soul filled with Spirit!
We have work to do. And with this work, we have the Holy Spirit filling us with the power of the Word Made Flesh, the fire of truthful witness, and the assurances of God’s promises written in stone and flesh. The Spirit dwells in me. In you. In us. Calling Timothy “beloved,” Paul reminds Timothy: “Beloved, I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands.” What is this gift? For the Church, Timothy is a bishop, ordered to apostolic authority by the imposition of Paul’s hands. His gift is the grace of leadership, the gift of standing in front, between what has gone before and what is coming. Timothy is the focal point of salvation history for his local church. He is the crux, the crossroad for what is and what is not authentic testimony, what is and what is not truthful witness. With the Church, Timothy is a man of faith, burning with courage and strength, called to service to the exhaustion of his gifts, and lifted up as one with authority to lead. Timothy is himself a gift to the Church, a grace given to serve us in peril, without profit.
With Timothy’s strength, with Paul’s strength, with all the saints living and dead, and with the unfailing help of the Holy Spirit and the whole Body of Christ, we, cannot fail in preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather one of power and love. Therefore, to be ashamed of our gospel testimony is to be ashamed of Christ himself. Why would we add this hardship to our burden? We have enough work to do in pursuing holiness, in keeping away from sin, in feeding the hungry and clothing the naked and healing the sick. Why would we do any of this and fail to claim the power and love of the Holy Spirit? Why would we do any of this and fail to dig deeply and excessively into the treasury of graces freely given to us specifically for this purpose? Why would we plow the fields of the world and tend the world’s sheep and do so without humility and eagerly welcoming hearts? Why?
Cowardice, that’s why. Fear of hardship. An aversion to difficulty. A distaste for “offending.” We might be called names. We might be ostracized. People will think we are being exclusive or discriminatory or intolerant. If we make any hard claims about the truths of the gospel, we will be seen as aggressive missionaries, or worse—missionaries of aggressive religion! Thus, we must blend in, mingle, disguise ourselves. If we stand up, stand out, or in any way distinguish ourselves as gospel witnesses, we must be claiming exclusive possession of The Truth. We must be preaching One Way, The Only Way to heaven. We must be vile little buggers who lust to see the heathens burn! If we flinch at these accusations, batting a single eye for a single second, and change one word of the gospel out of fear being called bigots, we are, in fact, cowards; cowards deserving the label.
Now, before any of you think I am calling for the reinstitution of the Inquisition or a rallying of the Crusades, let me say: we work as servants. Not inquisitors. Not soldiers. Servants. We serve. That’s what gospel people do. Secularists expect us to come charging out of Mass with swords drawn and torches lit and force them all to the baptismal font and confessional. My suspicion is that this is exactly what they want us to do, thus confirming their own bigotries and prejudices and giving them every excuse to continue their already well-oiled and ever-so-sophisticated persecution of the Church. No, I’m not being an alarmist. Nor am I issuing warnings or dire cautions against the evils of the secular world. The evil we need to be worrying about lives already in the heart of every man and woman who lays claim to the suffering, death, and resurrection of Christ. Our worst enemy is not the state, not the Supreme Court, not the ACLU, and not other religions. Our worst enemy is the weak heart of compromise, the fainting spirit of accommodation and assimilation. Our worst enemy is the Christian heart that believes its soul is impervious to charitable work. Excused from profitable service and witness. This is the restless heart of a Christian that will not search for and will not find its rest in Love. It cannot. Because it suffocates the Spirit in disobedience and fear.
Ask these hard questions this way: is the Lord to be grateful to us b/c we have done what he has commanded us to do? Is he supposed to pat us on the back and send us on permanent retreat b/c we completed the work we vowed to do at baptism? Because we have said “amen” and “thanks be to God” at Mass? Or, are we to say to our Master, “We are unprofitable servants, Lord; we have done what we were obliged to do”? Even better: we have done what we promised to do because you died for us, making us heirs to your kingdom.
We are already well-paid servants. We’ve used all of our vacation days. All of our comp time and sick days. The Christmas bonus has been given and spent. The heavenly 401K has been cashed. The time clock is still ticking and we haven’t yet punched out. If you are going to be a witness to the gospel out there, then know this: our God did not give you a spirit of cowardice but rather a spirit of power and love and self control. His Word has been proclaimed to you and his Word remains forever.
Brothers and sisters, put on your apron. We have work to do!
How Not to be a Gospel Coward
27th Sunday OT: Hab 1.2-3, 2.2-4; 2 Tim 1.6-8, 13-14; Luke 17.5-10
Fr. Philip N. Powell, OP
St Paul Hospital and Church of the Incarnation
Click to listen!
Are you a gospel coward? Is your heart weak and your spirit faint? Do you cringe or flinch or whine at the first sign of opposition? Do you think it always best to find a way around or between or under adversity? Do your hands and arms get rubbery at the thought of conflict, the mere mention of offense? Does your brain turn to mush and your strength drain away when the enemy approaches to confront you? Maybe you are a coward in more subtle ways—surrendering to fashion out of fear of exclusion; giving up the fight because your cause is ill-defined or poorly lead; retreating in the face of superior reason or more extensive experience? Do you abandon your gospel witness? Do you manifest cowardice when what is most needed is courage?
How easy it is for us to be ashamed of our “testimony to our Lord”! Paul admonishes Timothy “not to be ashamed” of the witness he himself makes to the gospel of Christ. Rather than being embarrassed by the prospect of telling others about the Lord’s freely given gift of forgiveness in mercy, Paul urges Timothy to “bear your share of the hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God.” We are either ashamed of the gospel, burdened by the adversity its preaching brings, or we are strengthened, en-joyed, made joyful by the “sound words that [we have] heard from [Paul].” The faith and love that are in Christ Jesus are our inheritance, our trust fund of grace and life, the exceedingly rich treasury of gratuitous help that we receive for no other reason than that our Father is Love and loves us always. Paul goes on to order Timothy to “[g]uard this rich trust with the help of the Holy Spirit that dwells with us.” Reminding, testifying, bearing-up-under, strengthening, hearing and seeing, guarding, and preaching—all of these we do now and tomorrow for the sake of Christ and our eternal lives with him. Thankfully, we do not do any of these alone, none without help. Our help is the Holy Spirit who dwells within us and among us.
Brothers and sisters, we have work to do. And there is no room for a coward’s heart in a soul filled with Spirit!
We have work to do. And with this work, we have the Holy Spirit filling us with the power of the Word Made Flesh, the fire of truthful witness, and the assurances of God’s promises written in stone and flesh. The Spirit dwells in me. In you. In us. Calling Timothy “beloved,” Paul reminds Timothy: “Beloved, I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands.” What is this gift? For the Church, Timothy is a bishop, ordered to apostolic authority by the imposition of Paul’s hands. His gift is the grace of leadership, the gift of standing in front, between what has gone before and what is coming. Timothy is the focal point of salvation history for his local church. He is the crux, the crossroad for what is and what is not authentic testimony, what is and what is not truthful witness. With the Church, Timothy is a man of faith, burning with courage and strength, called to service to the exhaustion of his gifts, and lifted up as one with authority to lead. Timothy is himself a gift to the Church, a grace given to serve us in peril, without profit.
With Timothy’s strength, with Paul’s strength, with all the saints living and dead, and with the unfailing help of the Holy Spirit and the whole Body of Christ, we, cannot fail in preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather one of power and love. Therefore, to be ashamed of our gospel testimony is to be ashamed of Christ himself. Why would we add this hardship to our burden? We have enough work to do in pursuing holiness, in keeping away from sin, in feeding the hungry and clothing the naked and healing the sick. Why would we do any of this and fail to claim the power and love of the Holy Spirit? Why would we do any of this and fail to dig deeply and excessively into the treasury of graces freely given to us specifically for this purpose? Why would we plow the fields of the world and tend the world’s sheep and do so without humility and eagerly welcoming hearts? Why?
Cowardice, that’s why. Fear of hardship. An aversion to difficulty. A distaste for “offending.” We might be called names. We might be ostracized. People will think we are being exclusive or discriminatory or intolerant. If we make any hard claims about the truths of the gospel, we will be seen as aggressive missionaries, or worse—missionaries of aggressive religion! Thus, we must blend in, mingle, disguise ourselves. If we stand up, stand out, or in any way distinguish ourselves as gospel witnesses, we must be claiming exclusive possession of The Truth. We must be preaching One Way, The Only Way to heaven. We must be vile little buggers who lust to see the heathens burn! If we flinch at these accusations, batting a single eye for a single second, and change one word of the gospel out of fear being called bigots, we are, in fact, cowards; cowards deserving the label.
Now, before any of you think I am calling for the reinstitution of the Inquisition or a rallying of the Crusades, let me say: we work as servants. Not inquisitors. Not soldiers. Servants. We serve. That’s what gospel people do. Secularists expect us to come charging out of Mass with swords drawn and torches lit and force them all to the baptismal font and confessional. My suspicion is that this is exactly what they want us to do, thus confirming their own bigotries and prejudices and giving them every excuse to continue their already well-oiled and ever-so-sophisticated persecution of the Church. No, I’m not being an alarmist. Nor am I issuing warnings or dire cautions against the evils of the secular world. The evil we need to be worrying about lives already in the heart of every man and woman who lays claim to the suffering, death, and resurrection of Christ. Our worst enemy is not the state, not the Supreme Court, not the ACLU, and not other religions. Our worst enemy is the weak heart of compromise, the fainting spirit of accommodation and assimilation. Our worst enemy is the Christian heart that believes its soul is impervious to charitable work. Excused from profitable service and witness. This is the restless heart of a Christian that will not search for and will not find its rest in Love. It cannot. Because it suffocates the Spirit in disobedience and fear.
Ask these hard questions this way: is the Lord to be grateful to us b/c we have done what he has commanded us to do? Is he supposed to pat us on the back and send us on permanent retreat b/c we completed the work we vowed to do at baptism? Because we have said “amen” and “thanks be to God” at Mass? Or, are we to say to our Master, “We are unprofitable servants, Lord; we have done what we were obliged to do”? Even better: we have done what we promised to do because you died for us, making us heirs to your kingdom.
We are already well-paid servants. We’ve used all of our vacation days. All of our comp time and sick days. The Christmas bonus has been given and spent. The heavenly 401K has been cashed. The time clock is still ticking and we haven’t yet punched out. If you are going to be a witness to the gospel out there, then know this: our God did not give you a spirit of cowardice but rather a spirit of power and love and self control. His Word has been proclaimed to you and his Word remains forever.
Brothers and sisters, put on your apron. We have work to do!
Fairness
What is fairness? I am sure everyone knows the world is not "fair". However, is anything "fair"? My response is NO. There is NOTHING that is fair. Someone will always believe something is fair if it goes in his/her favor, but unfair if it does not go in his/her favor.
Taxes: People want to pay the least amount of taxes possible. The rich are upset that they pay the largest amount of taxes of any other group of people by far, but the poor have to pay a larger % of their earnings in taxes (except for the "poverty" poor). No one will ever feel that the way the government obtains money is fair. However, no one wants to take over in personally paying for what the government does. IE it would cost less money if each person paid to plow part of the neighborhood; however, we don't want to pay for that, so we pay for the government to plow the roads for us. Then we scream that it is unfair for them to tax us so much.
Work: Everyone feels they do what they need to do to get by at work. Some people have a higher mark of what "get by" really is. At my job, most of us get paid the same amount weather we work high above or below. (far below may not get a rise so we will not count them)People think it is unfair for some who cannot work as fast and as efficient to miss out on raises, but the top producers want to make more than the slower people. We will not even get into the fairness of promotions and how they are looked at.
Employment/wages: Some are saddened that a CEO can make $1 Million/year when the entry level employee makes $8/hour. Then we see ball players getting $45 Million contracts then endorsements on top of that! Well that certainly cannot be fair. What makes one job worth $1 Million plus benefits when another is only worth $20,000 after weeks of over time, no benefits, vacations, exec. Where is the fairness that one person with a 4 year degree and smart makes $40,000 and another makes 100,000? Why do some children get to make more money as they enter the work force because the mom and/or dad have contacts? Why could I not have had contacts?
Death: Some die young (in the womb and shortly after), some die old, some die peacefully, some in pain, what is fair with this? Would it not be more fair if each of us had 80 years exactly and then expired on that day? Of course not, some people are not wanted (aborted babies, the homeless, the impoverished) and society does not want to care for them. What about the criminals, many would say it is not fair if they have as much (or more) time than an law abiding person.
Justice: In the US they try to make Justice available for all, but it does not happen. People with money still get the best lawyers, the poor still get stuck being more guilty. The famous get out of jail time due to status; however, it would be more dangerous for them inside than a nobody. The uneducated say and do things that make them seem more guilty than someone with a silver tongue and golden words. Then on both sides of the case there is unfairness vs. fairness. A person is "messing" around and hits someone with an auto. The person hit dyes. Is it fair to the person who says it was an accident (everyone makes mistakes) to do 80 years in jail. However, it is not fair for the person who lost a loved one that the person responsible should go free. The time spent in jail is also unfair. Someone with 10 pounds of weed may have to spend a considerable amount more time in jail than someone who helps to kill his/her only child! Then the woman who kills all 5 of her children is allowed less than 20 years and is pregnant again...
Looks: People who have better looks and a better outward appearance are usually considered more intelligent and better suited for the position. The better looking the waiter/waitress, the better the tip. The better looking the applicant, the better chance of the position. This does not just include nice clothing, but everything about the appearance. Therefore, if you are not attractive, you have to work 3 times harder to look presentable for a job interview or anything.
Afterlife: Then after a lifetime of things being unfair to one or both sides of the coin, we die. Here is the ultimate showing of unfair. Jesus came down, became man, and died a painful death so that we may have the option of spending an eternity with God in heaven. Then there are people who spend a life time of trying to live as God sees fit, they get the same reward as someone who, up until death, has lived in the darkest pits of sin. Some may say that is unfair. Though to look at it, we are all miserable compared to God, he gives us everything we have, he allows us to be in pain and glory. So we must accept what he gives us, work with it, and praise him. This system was not set-up to be fair. Of course there is no "fair" anyway because someone will always think it is unfair if they do not get what they desire. So since Jesus had been treated the ultimate in the unfair category, let us stop complaining and start living for him...
Taxes: People want to pay the least amount of taxes possible. The rich are upset that they pay the largest amount of taxes of any other group of people by far, but the poor have to pay a larger % of their earnings in taxes (except for the "poverty" poor). No one will ever feel that the way the government obtains money is fair. However, no one wants to take over in personally paying for what the government does. IE it would cost less money if each person paid to plow part of the neighborhood; however, we don't want to pay for that, so we pay for the government to plow the roads for us. Then we scream that it is unfair for them to tax us so much.
Work: Everyone feels they do what they need to do to get by at work. Some people have a higher mark of what "get by" really is. At my job, most of us get paid the same amount weather we work high above or below. (far below may not get a rise so we will not count them)People think it is unfair for some who cannot work as fast and as efficient to miss out on raises, but the top producers want to make more than the slower people. We will not even get into the fairness of promotions and how they are looked at.
Employment/wages: Some are saddened that a CEO can make $1 Million/year when the entry level employee makes $8/hour. Then we see ball players getting $45 Million contracts then endorsements on top of that! Well that certainly cannot be fair. What makes one job worth $1 Million plus benefits when another is only worth $20,000 after weeks of over time, no benefits, vacations, exec. Where is the fairness that one person with a 4 year degree and smart makes $40,000 and another makes 100,000? Why do some children get to make more money as they enter the work force because the mom and/or dad have contacts? Why could I not have had contacts?
Death: Some die young (in the womb and shortly after), some die old, some die peacefully, some in pain, what is fair with this? Would it not be more fair if each of us had 80 years exactly and then expired on that day? Of course not, some people are not wanted (aborted babies, the homeless, the impoverished) and society does not want to care for them. What about the criminals, many would say it is not fair if they have as much (or more) time than an law abiding person.
Justice: In the US they try to make Justice available for all, but it does not happen. People with money still get the best lawyers, the poor still get stuck being more guilty. The famous get out of jail time due to status; however, it would be more dangerous for them inside than a nobody. The uneducated say and do things that make them seem more guilty than someone with a silver tongue and golden words. Then on both sides of the case there is unfairness vs. fairness. A person is "messing" around and hits someone with an auto. The person hit dyes. Is it fair to the person who says it was an accident (everyone makes mistakes) to do 80 years in jail. However, it is not fair for the person who lost a loved one that the person responsible should go free. The time spent in jail is also unfair. Someone with 10 pounds of weed may have to spend a considerable amount more time in jail than someone who helps to kill his/her only child! Then the woman who kills all 5 of her children is allowed less than 20 years and is pregnant again...
Looks: People who have better looks and a better outward appearance are usually considered more intelligent and better suited for the position. The better looking the waiter/waitress, the better the tip. The better looking the applicant, the better chance of the position. This does not just include nice clothing, but everything about the appearance. Therefore, if you are not attractive, you have to work 3 times harder to look presentable for a job interview or anything.
Afterlife: Then after a lifetime of things being unfair to one or both sides of the coin, we die. Here is the ultimate showing of unfair. Jesus came down, became man, and died a painful death so that we may have the option of spending an eternity with God in heaven. Then there are people who spend a life time of trying to live as God sees fit, they get the same reward as someone who, up until death, has lived in the darkest pits of sin. Some may say that is unfair. Though to look at it, we are all miserable compared to God, he gives us everything we have, he allows us to be in pain and glory. So we must accept what he gives us, work with it, and praise him. This system was not set-up to be fair. Of course there is no "fair" anyway because someone will always think it is unfair if they do not get what they desire. So since Jesus had been treated the ultimate in the unfair category, let us stop complaining and start living for him...
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