Life, Love, and the such

I am begging to notice that things do not always work out as one would hope they would. Oddly, I have found when I have it "all figured out" in reality I have nothing figured out. Why is this? Do I do not stop and think about what I do when I am doing it...or just wait for everything to fall apart before I exam it. Like love, I have been engaged two times and both fell apart at about the point that they should have been at the strongest point. I have eyes for others now...but it seems that they do not nor ever will share this idea. However, this does not matter to me right now. I figure that since this is "figured out" then I should have the "real" answer soon. The funny thing is I have known the guys I have a crush on for ever, and my "eyes" for them come and go as random as the the leaves blow. I just hope that the "winds" do not send me back towards my previous loves...I want new ones.