Stuck in the Mud

We will start with our “friend” the saint being frustrated for being 30 years of age, and having yet to find the truth. Remember he started when he was 19…

“…I was not some thirty years old, and still ‘stuck in the same mud’ in my avid desire to enjoy things present, even though they tore me in so many directions; and all the time I said, ‘Wisdom ? I will discover it tomorrow. It will appear before my eyes, and I will lay hold on it… Rather, let us seek more diligently, and not despair.’ … “But where shall I seek it? When shall I seek it? Ambrose has no time to spare, and I have no time to read. And the books themselves – where will I seek them? Where and when shall I buy them? From whom shall I get them?’ – ‘I will set aside time, and allot certain hours to my soul’s welfare.’ … my mornings are taken up with my students; what do I do with the rest of my time? Why do I not make that my business?’ – ‘But when will I pay my greeting to my powerful friends, whose backing I need? When Will I prepare new merchandise for my students? What time will I find for my own refreshment and relaxation, after giving my mind to all these concerns?” (6.11.18)

Where do we find time? There always seems time to do things that are not worth our time and energy. We find time to fight with the ones that “love us” and do not forget to find time to drink and party. It seems to me that most of the world could use a lesson on time management. Not so more can be fit into our lives, but so we can reorganize so less items need direct attention. For example, after many years of engagement (to two separate people) I have found there is no reason to continuously fight with the significant other. It is a waste of time and energy. There is no need to worry about things that you cannot change. Lastly, there is absolutely NO reason to spend energy or time on ones who do not care enough about us to not to put us though that kind of hell.

Well enough of my ramblings… what does Augustine say in response to his “responsibilities” to the other mortals…

“’Let them all go hang! Let us cast them away, vain and hollow as they are. Let us betake ourselves to the quest for truth, and nothing else!’ – ‘Life is unhappy, death uncertain; it creeps up on us unexpectedly, and how can we escape it? Or where will we learn what we have neglected here? Will we not rather pay the penalty for our negligence?’ – ‘Suppose death itself cuts short and puts an end to all our senses, and all our cares with them? This question too, must be asked.’ – ‘But for be it that this should be so. It is not for nothing, not in vain that the authority of the Christian faith should stand so high, and be diffused throughout the whole world. Never would the divine power work so many or such great things for us, if the life of the soul were extinguished in the death of the body. Why, then, do we hesitate to abandon our worldly hope and betake ourselves to search for God, and for the blessed life?’ – ‘ But wait. Worldly things too are pleasant, and have no little charm of their own. It is no easy matter to cut short our striving for them, for it would be ridiculous to go back to them afterwards.’" … (6.11.19)