Why do I even try? There are times in life where it just does not seem like it is worth the fight... Then again there is no giving up because that means death. So, I guess with God's help I will keep fighting, even if I do not know what I am fighting for. It seems that the more I try the worse things get. I am begging to think that it is I.
I need to remember that I will not be content until my heart rests with the maker. I wonder how to give up that control. This has never been something I was good at. I hope that I get better at it soon. I feel sorry for anyone reading this because it is very dull. However, if there are one or two suggestions on how to just give it all over to Him I will take them J! However, somehow I do not think it is that easy.
Well the fight continues…
Speaking of fighting, my conversion has led to a greater respect for the Catholic Church by my protestant friend. He like myself was very anti-Catholic before I started my conversion. Now, though he does not think that it is for him, he has found that it is not so bad. There is a Peace to be found in the True Church that I am so happy to have found. Now if I could only practice it better, life may be GREAT!
Well no words of wisdom tonight… sorry.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
"Super Hero"
I am not so sure about this quiz!!!
You scored as Lara Croft. A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination.
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com |
Well I will make a post for the non-readers out there. Since my last most much and nothing has occurred all at the same time.
1. I have decided I am going Catholic. In RCIA classes the information just feels and seems so RIGHT. It seems that most of the ideas are out of my own head, or make since and covers most of the questions I had in the past. For the ones who know me Mary was my major deal breaking point, now I embrace her, as she should be, as my mother!
2. I have a new “boyfriend”. Not either of the ones above; however, he is sweet. He mostly treats me well, and I mostly treat him well (kind of). Not much to report there besides he has more feelings for me than I have for him. It could be that I blocked myself off after being hurt so many times in the past. (Maybe I should become a Nun!)
3. School is VERY hard. I have been trying for quite some time to get caught up on my schoolwork, work stuff, and the things around here… not quite working. I have found that praying the Rosary is very helpful… If I could only find the time.
Hopefully I will get some significant posts to you shortly…
1. I have decided I am going Catholic. In RCIA classes the information just feels and seems so RIGHT. It seems that most of the ideas are out of my own head, or make since and covers most of the questions I had in the past. For the ones who know me Mary was my major deal breaking point, now I embrace her, as she should be, as my mother!
2. I have a new “boyfriend”. Not either of the ones above; however, he is sweet. He mostly treats me well, and I mostly treat him well (kind of). Not much to report there besides he has more feelings for me than I have for him. It could be that I blocked myself off after being hurt so many times in the past. (Maybe I should become a Nun!)
3. School is VERY hard. I have been trying for quite some time to get caught up on my schoolwork, work stuff, and the things around here… not quite working. I have found that praying the Rosary is very helpful… If I could only find the time.
Hopefully I will get some significant posts to you shortly…
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Well I am well on my way to becoming a Catholic. Well kind of. This would be so much easier if I could feel like I have found what I am looking for. I think the “loss” of my second possible husband as left me feeling… well lost. I have confirmed that one crush has no interest in me. That’s cool he will remain my “good” friend. I think I will see where I stand with the other; however, I am sure it will be the same. There are some who show an interest in me, but they are not what I seem to be looking for. I have been unable to find a Christian little lone a Catholic who likes me. So where does that leave me? Well I am not sure. I guess I will have to pray it through. There are so many things to take into consideration.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
RCIA
For those of you who do not know, I am in the RCIA class. I have been doing really well until last night. We started the first discussion about Mary. This was hard for me because I was not quite ready for it. I figured that I would have some time to read up on the matter and pray before it hit me; however, Sister Diane pushed the class a week ahead w/o me realizing it. I was quite upset. I am not sure why there is such a HUGE problem with this topic. I was able to reach a friend on the phone and he assured me that this is natural. I guess I will believe him because he is also a convert and very smart.
Well anyway, if any of you have any tips, let me know… again I am posting as if people actually read this. Well maybe someone will and have the “mystic” answer for me.
Well anyway, if any of you have any tips, let me know… again I am posting as if people actually read this. Well maybe someone will and have the “mystic” answer for me.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Yoko would be SO proud
From some other blogs I found out what language, I should learn. Mine was Japanese. This information is going to make my friend Yoko VERY happy since she has been telling me that for YEARS! LOL
| You Should Learn Japanese |
 |
What Language Should You Learn?
Personal Time
I have a problem. Now I do feel confident to write these words since I am sure that there are very few people live who will ever read them. Therefore, I feel that I can ‘talk’ freely about my feelings for a moment.
I am very single, as in, I do not even have any interested parties (that I know of) who would enjoy the opportunity to see me smile at them in that special way. Though I do have two guys that make me smile when I think of them. It is just that I have never been able to tell them that. They are my friends and I would not want to risk loosing my friendship with them. They are also both Catholics. I have wondered on occasion, how much my RCIA willingness has stemmed from the idea that maybe… just maybe… they would notice me.
This is such a non-reason to take the classes, and I know that this is not my sole or even main reason to take the class. However, I tend to over analyze things. I wonder if or when I should tell these guys that I like them. I have left notes for them about how much I care, but then again males are generally poor at picking up hints. One lives in a different state with no plans of moving here in the near future. The other is quite young (4 years younger) and he does not seem to be able to keep his mind on one subject for more than 10 seconds, no matter what the subject.
All well, maybe someday God will send me a leader for my future family. One who is willing and able to lead me in the way a man should. Maybe then I will be able to bow to the leadership of him and more importantly my God.
Well now that I have written more than I have in 3 months LOL, I will say good-bye. I hope God inspires me to write more about these topics as I move through RCIA, life, and challenges.
I am very single, as in, I do not even have any interested parties (that I know of) who would enjoy the opportunity to see me smile at them in that special way. Though I do have two guys that make me smile when I think of them. It is just that I have never been able to tell them that. They are my friends and I would not want to risk loosing my friendship with them. They are also both Catholics. I have wondered on occasion, how much my RCIA willingness has stemmed from the idea that maybe… just maybe… they would notice me.
This is such a non-reason to take the classes, and I know that this is not my sole or even main reason to take the class. However, I tend to over analyze things. I wonder if or when I should tell these guys that I like them. I have left notes for them about how much I care, but then again males are generally poor at picking up hints. One lives in a different state with no plans of moving here in the near future. The other is quite young (4 years younger) and he does not seem to be able to keep his mind on one subject for more than 10 seconds, no matter what the subject.
All well, maybe someday God will send me a leader for my future family. One who is willing and able to lead me in the way a man should. Maybe then I will be able to bow to the leadership of him and more importantly my God.
Well now that I have written more than I have in 3 months LOL, I will say good-bye. I hope God inspires me to write more about these topics as I move through RCIA, life, and challenges.
Why
WHY?
I know this is a long time coming; however, I was planning to make it monumental. I was going to have scripture notes and exc. However, I found that it was NOT that hard.
So I guess it comes down to the idea of WHY. Why did God want to create man with the free will to commit these evils?
This is a “simple” answer. We are God’s children. I started to read the Bible finding lots of passages and praying. I then was wrapped up in personal issues such as schoolwork and keeping my little niece safe. Then God gave me the answer. Here it is.
Personal scale: now I am not personally versed in this part because I do not have children of my own. However, I have it on good authority that bearing, rising, and loving children/ offspring can be very challenging. A good parent does everything possible to ensure the best environment for the children; however, they tend to be rebellious and troublesome. I have asked these non-perfect parents “Was it worth it?” The answer was always yes. This came from parents of children of all ages from infants to adults with their own children.
Worldwide scale: since the world is so harsh, some have said that we should weep when we have children and rejoice when people pass (this was a memory from childhood at church camp, she was on of my ‘friends’ for the week). With so many inflections that can be placed upon the child, it does seem to be cold to bring one into the world. However, again it is worth it. Some grow and love God, parents, and neighbors. They make WONDERFUL additions to society. It would truly be sad to lose these wonderful creatures just because of one’s perspective on the world. Hay that one child could make a difference in the world for the better.
God’s scale: He is the perfect parent with the most perfect hopes for all of his children. If it is worth everything in the world for that one kiss for a non-perfect human, how much more is God glorified by every “I love you” or smile from his children? It is not that he looks at the world as bad, because he created a good world with good creatures. Every time his children find him and say, “I love you” in any number of ways… he is overjoyed.
This may not answer your deep questions; however, this has set my heart at ease. It has lifted me up and “set me free” from the sadness of why.
I know this is a long time coming; however, I was planning to make it monumental. I was going to have scripture notes and exc. However, I found that it was NOT that hard.
So I guess it comes down to the idea of WHY. Why did God want to create man with the free will to commit these evils?
This is a “simple” answer. We are God’s children. I started to read the Bible finding lots of passages and praying. I then was wrapped up in personal issues such as schoolwork and keeping my little niece safe. Then God gave me the answer. Here it is.
Personal scale: now I am not personally versed in this part because I do not have children of my own. However, I have it on good authority that bearing, rising, and loving children/ offspring can be very challenging. A good parent does everything possible to ensure the best environment for the children; however, they tend to be rebellious and troublesome. I have asked these non-perfect parents “Was it worth it?” The answer was always yes. This came from parents of children of all ages from infants to adults with their own children.
Worldwide scale: since the world is so harsh, some have said that we should weep when we have children and rejoice when people pass (this was a memory from childhood at church camp, she was on of my ‘friends’ for the week). With so many inflections that can be placed upon the child, it does seem to be cold to bring one into the world. However, again it is worth it. Some grow and love God, parents, and neighbors. They make WONDERFUL additions to society. It would truly be sad to lose these wonderful creatures just because of one’s perspective on the world. Hay that one child could make a difference in the world for the better.
God’s scale: He is the perfect parent with the most perfect hopes for all of his children. If it is worth everything in the world for that one kiss for a non-perfect human, how much more is God glorified by every “I love you” or smile from his children? It is not that he looks at the world as bad, because he created a good world with good creatures. Every time his children find him and say, “I love you” in any number of ways… he is overjoyed.
This may not answer your deep questions; however, this has set my heart at ease. It has lifted me up and “set me free” from the sadness of why.
Count Clement August von Galen: bishop of Munster
I heard in Mass today, yes the protestant is going to mass now. That the Vatican has done something with bishop of Munster: Count Clement August von Galen. I think he is now in the canonization process or something. I could not quite follow what the priest said because I do not know enough about the process. :( However, he sounds like a really nifty person. Here is some information about him...
Faith and Fatherland
From the beginning the Catholic Church was one of the main targets of Hitler's policy of annihilation; the totalitarian aims of National Socialism would not tolerate any opposition or allow any other organization to compete for the loyalty of the German people.
The Gestapo were active everywhere, even to the extent of intruding into confessionals to trap priests into making unguarded statements. Priests were kept under active surveillance. As a consequence hundreds of clergy were arraigned before Nazi courts of summary jurisdiction and condemned to death or internment in concentration camps.1
In Dachau alone, no fewer than 2,771 priests were imprisoned, of whom at least 1,000 died from hunger, disease or ill-treatment. Acts of brutality, torture and murder were commonplace in these camps, yet they were the context of daily acts of heroism, as in the case of Maximillian Kolbe in Auschwitz, or the secret and daring ordination in Dachau of Karl Leisner, the young seminarian from Munich.2
The majority of the priests interned in Dachau were of Polish origin; however, apart from German nationals, there were large numbers of French, Czechs, and Austrians. Dachau was host to priests from all over Nazi occupied Europe. Seminarians from these same countries were drafted in as part of forced labour gangs in Germany.
No less than 4,000 priests were put to death during these years, either as "political saboteurs," or, after incarceration in concentration camps, by hanging, starvation, mishandling, lack of medical aid, or as victims of medical experiments including euthanasia. It is a story of courageous and heroic resistance against the overwhelming power of a police state.3
In this context also the memory of a great German ecclesiastic deserves to be recalled for his heroism at another level. Count Clement August von Galen was bishop of Munster, the ecclesiastical capital of the strongly Catholic region of Westphalia and the Lower Rhine in Northwest Germany. He took a consistently courageous stand against the policies of Hitler and the Gestapo, and was unrelenting in his criticism of them. His immense prestige at home and abroad was what ultimately saved him from the extermination that many of his own priests suffered.
At that time one of the directors of propaganda in the British War Office was Brig. General R. L. Sedgwick, a convert to Catholicism, he recalls that the bishop's sermons provided the War Office with the most powerful anti-Hitler propaganda.4 During the war the BBC sent out transmissions specifically targeting the forty million German speaking Catholics. Day after day the radio broadcasts from London drove home the point of Hitler's hatred for Catholicism. The bishop's sermons, he says, were like manna from heaven in the propaganda war against the Nazis. The BBC transmissions, drawing on these sermons, also endeavored to show that National Socialism constituted a grave threat to the family and the religious ideals which it enshrined.
http://www.catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=353
There is also information here about: family background, him being the bishop, The struggle against National Socialism, His greatest hour, Battle against euthanasia, Destruction of the cathedral, and Home to die.
In addition, this quote was part of the message today. Though the source the priest used was longer.
BISHOP OF MÜNSTER PROTESTS KILLINGS
Never under any circumstances may a human being kill an innocent person apart from war and legitimate self-defense. If you establish and apply the principle that you can kill 'unproductive' fellow human beings then woe betide us all when we become old and frail!... woe betide loyal soldiers who return to the homeland seriously disabled, as cripples, as invalids. If it is once accepted that people have the right to kill 'unproductive' fellow humans-- and even if it only initially affects the poor defenseless mentally ill--then as a matter of principle murder is permitted for all unproductive people.... Then, it is only necessary for some secret edict to order that the method developed for the mentally ill should be extended to other 'unproductive' people, that it should be applied to those suffering from incurable lung disease, to the elderly who are frail or invalids, to the severely disabled soldiers. Then none of our lives will be safe any more. Some commission can put us on the list of the 'unproductive', who in their opinion have become worthless life. And no police force will protect us and no court will investigate our murder and give the murderer the punishment he deserves. Who will be able to trust his physician any more? He may report his patient as 'unproductive' and receive instructions to kill him. It is impossible to imagine the degree of moral depravity, of general mistrust that would then spread even through families if this dreadful doctrine is tolerated, accepted and followed. Woe to mankind, woe to our German nation if God's holy commandment, 'Thou shalt not kill', which God proclaimed on Mount Sinai amidst thunder and lightning, which God our Creator inscribed in the conscience of mankind from the very beginning, is not only broken, but if this transgression is actually tolerated and permitted to go unpunished.From Burleigh and Wipperman, The Racial State: Germany, 1933-1945 (New York, 1991), pp. 152-53.
http://www.holocaust-trc.org/bishop.htm
Ok, I hope that you enjoy the reading.
Faith and Fatherland
From the beginning the Catholic Church was one of the main targets of Hitler's policy of annihilation; the totalitarian aims of National Socialism would not tolerate any opposition or allow any other organization to compete for the loyalty of the German people.
The Gestapo were active everywhere, even to the extent of intruding into confessionals to trap priests into making unguarded statements. Priests were kept under active surveillance. As a consequence hundreds of clergy were arraigned before Nazi courts of summary jurisdiction and condemned to death or internment in concentration camps.1
In Dachau alone, no fewer than 2,771 priests were imprisoned, of whom at least 1,000 died from hunger, disease or ill-treatment. Acts of brutality, torture and murder were commonplace in these camps, yet they were the context of daily acts of heroism, as in the case of Maximillian Kolbe in Auschwitz, or the secret and daring ordination in Dachau of Karl Leisner, the young seminarian from Munich.2
The majority of the priests interned in Dachau were of Polish origin; however, apart from German nationals, there were large numbers of French, Czechs, and Austrians. Dachau was host to priests from all over Nazi occupied Europe. Seminarians from these same countries were drafted in as part of forced labour gangs in Germany.
No less than 4,000 priests were put to death during these years, either as "political saboteurs," or, after incarceration in concentration camps, by hanging, starvation, mishandling, lack of medical aid, or as victims of medical experiments including euthanasia. It is a story of courageous and heroic resistance against the overwhelming power of a police state.3
In this context also the memory of a great German ecclesiastic deserves to be recalled for his heroism at another level. Count Clement August von Galen was bishop of Munster, the ecclesiastical capital of the strongly Catholic region of Westphalia and the Lower Rhine in Northwest Germany. He took a consistently courageous stand against the policies of Hitler and the Gestapo, and was unrelenting in his criticism of them. His immense prestige at home and abroad was what ultimately saved him from the extermination that many of his own priests suffered.
At that time one of the directors of propaganda in the British War Office was Brig. General R. L. Sedgwick, a convert to Catholicism, he recalls that the bishop's sermons provided the War Office with the most powerful anti-Hitler propaganda.4 During the war the BBC sent out transmissions specifically targeting the forty million German speaking Catholics. Day after day the radio broadcasts from London drove home the point of Hitler's hatred for Catholicism. The bishop's sermons, he says, were like manna from heaven in the propaganda war against the Nazis. The BBC transmissions, drawing on these sermons, also endeavored to show that National Socialism constituted a grave threat to the family and the religious ideals which it enshrined.
http://www.catholicculture.org/docs/doc_view.cfm?recnum=353
There is also information here about: family background, him being the bishop, The struggle against National Socialism, His greatest hour, Battle against euthanasia, Destruction of the cathedral, and Home to die.
In addition, this quote was part of the message today. Though the source the priest used was longer.
BISHOP OF MÜNSTER PROTESTS KILLINGS
Never under any circumstances may a human being kill an innocent person apart from war and legitimate self-defense. If you establish and apply the principle that you can kill 'unproductive' fellow human beings then woe betide us all when we become old and frail!... woe betide loyal soldiers who return to the homeland seriously disabled, as cripples, as invalids. If it is once accepted that people have the right to kill 'unproductive' fellow humans-- and even if it only initially affects the poor defenseless mentally ill--then as a matter of principle murder is permitted for all unproductive people.... Then, it is only necessary for some secret edict to order that the method developed for the mentally ill should be extended to other 'unproductive' people, that it should be applied to those suffering from incurable lung disease, to the elderly who are frail or invalids, to the severely disabled soldiers. Then none of our lives will be safe any more. Some commission can put us on the list of the 'unproductive', who in their opinion have become worthless life. And no police force will protect us and no court will investigate our murder and give the murderer the punishment he deserves. Who will be able to trust his physician any more? He may report his patient as 'unproductive' and receive instructions to kill him. It is impossible to imagine the degree of moral depravity, of general mistrust that would then spread even through families if this dreadful doctrine is tolerated, accepted and followed. Woe to mankind, woe to our German nation if God's holy commandment, 'Thou shalt not kill', which God proclaimed on Mount Sinai amidst thunder and lightning, which God our Creator inscribed in the conscience of mankind from the very beginning, is not only broken, but if this transgression is actually tolerated and permitted to go unpunished.From Burleigh and Wipperman, The Racial State: Germany, 1933-1945 (New York, 1991), pp. 152-53.
http://www.holocaust-trc.org/bishop.htm
Ok, I hope that you enjoy the reading.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Problem of Evil Take Two!
Ok, well I have introduced my ideas. Next will be Augustine’s ideas, well not all of the ideas but a few. I mean really, if you want to know more about his ideas please read them. I am not intellectual enough to assume I can fully understand his ideas and be able to pass them onto a reader population. (Not that anyone reads this, but I like to pretend)
I applied my mind to understanding what I was hearing: namely, that free will was the reason why we commit evil, and your righteous judgment (Ps. 119.37 [Ps. 118.37]) the reason why we suffer it; but I could not understand it as it was. Therefore as I endeavored to raise my mental sight from the depths, I was drawn down again; and often as I tried, I was drawn down again and again. What raised me up towards your light was the fact that I knew that I had a will just as much as I knew I was alive. Thus, when I will or did not will something, I was wholly certain that it was I and no one else who was willing it or not willing it; and I was now on the point of perceiving that therein lay the reason for my won sin. As for the evil I did against my will, I aw that I was suffering it rather than committing it, and adjudged it not so much my guilt as my punishment; conceiving of you as being just, I was swift to acknowledge that I was not being punished unjustly. But once again, I said: ‘Who made me? Was it not my God, and is he not only good, but the Good itself? What, then, is the origin of my willing bad deeds and not willing good ones- why I should justly pay the penalty for my deeds? Who was it that set and planted this bitter plant (Heb. 12.15) in me, seeing as I cam into being entirely from my God, the supreme Sweetness? If the Devil is responsible, what is the origin of the evil will by which he became the Devil, seeing as he was made wholly an angel by the supremely good Creator?’ These anxious thoughts dragged me down and choked me again and again, but I was never brought to that abyss of error in with no one confesses you (Ps. 6.5 [Ps. 6.6]). Of thinking that you suffer evil rather than that man commits it. (7.3.5)
Well here is his “introduction” to the problem. The standing assumptions (And yes I do mean that these are the base ideas we are starting from. If you and I do not agree on the assumptions, then we will not agree on the logic.) are those in Genesis. God created the heavens and the earth; they were all pleasing to him. Then the next assumption is that God is all good and void of evil. So at this point, man was not tainted with the evil deeds or desires because man was pleasing. The race was perfect. So then it must be assumed that Evil entered in at a later time than creation, but when?
I believe that that to look at the problem of evil, we must examine what evil is. So I guess looking at what I have previously said, I will state the assumption that evil is going against the will of God. If he is all good, then his will would be the perfect will. If we go against this then that is evil.
Now with that assumption, some of the natural disasters will not be considered evil. Notice I did not say all. I strongly believe that some of the “natural disasters” would not be as disastrous if we had followed God’s full plan in the first place. The moment we decide to go against God’s will we have willing committed an evil. This can not be blamed on someone else, it can not be sited that God allowed it to happen, or the “Devil” caused it to happen; it is our responsibility to be faithful to our creator and we decide not to do so. Therefore, I think my stance is that evil is not created, but manufactured though out own free wills. It is a lack of God in our desires that causes the evil to occur. God gave us all we needed to be happy and blissful. However, we used it for harm instead.
For an example, they guy who started the Nobel Peace thing… He was the one who invented the use of explosives. His though was that it was a useful tool for removing rock and other objects so that progress could be made. However, it was used for warfare and other foul things. It was not his intention for these uses, however, though the will of others, this was how it was used and became known for.
Ok, well I have introduced my ideas. Next will be Augustine’s ideas, well not all of the ideas but a few. I mean really, if you want to know more about his ideas please read them. I am not intellectual enough to assume I can fully understand his ideas and be able to pass them onto a reader population. (Not that anyone reads this, but I like to pretend)
I applied my mind to understanding what I was hearing: namely, that free will was the reason why we commit evil, and your righteous judgment (Ps. 119.37 [Ps. 118.37]) the reason why we suffer it; but I could not understand it as it was. Therefore as I endeavored to raise my mental sight from the depths, I was drawn down again; and often as I tried, I was drawn down again and again. What raised me up towards your light was the fact that I knew that I had a will just as much as I knew I was alive. Thus, when I will or did not will something, I was wholly certain that it was I and no one else who was willing it or not willing it; and I was now on the point of perceiving that therein lay the reason for my won sin. As for the evil I did against my will, I aw that I was suffering it rather than committing it, and adjudged it not so much my guilt as my punishment; conceiving of you as being just, I was swift to acknowledge that I was not being punished unjustly. But once again, I said: ‘Who made me? Was it not my God, and is he not only good, but the Good itself? What, then, is the origin of my willing bad deeds and not willing good ones- why I should justly pay the penalty for my deeds? Who was it that set and planted this bitter plant (Heb. 12.15) in me, seeing as I cam into being entirely from my God, the supreme Sweetness? If the Devil is responsible, what is the origin of the evil will by which he became the Devil, seeing as he was made wholly an angel by the supremely good Creator?’ These anxious thoughts dragged me down and choked me again and again, but I was never brought to that abyss of error in with no one confesses you (Ps. 6.5 [Ps. 6.6]). Of thinking that you suffer evil rather than that man commits it. (7.3.5)
Well here is his “introduction” to the problem. The standing assumptions (And yes I do mean that these are the base ideas we are starting from. If you and I do not agree on the assumptions, then we will not agree on the logic.) are those in Genesis. God created the heavens and the earth; they were all pleasing to him. Then the next assumption is that God is all good and void of evil. So at this point, man was not tainted with the evil deeds or desires because man was pleasing. The race was perfect. So then it must be assumed that Evil entered in at a later time than creation, but when?
I believe that that to look at the problem of evil, we must examine what evil is. So I guess looking at what I have previously said, I will state the assumption that evil is going against the will of God. If he is all good, then his will would be the perfect will. If we go against this then that is evil.
Now with that assumption, some of the natural disasters will not be considered evil. Notice I did not say all. I strongly believe that some of the “natural disasters” would not be as disastrous if we had followed God’s full plan in the first place. The moment we decide to go against God’s will we have willing committed an evil. This can not be blamed on someone else, it can not be sited that God allowed it to happen, or the “Devil” caused it to happen; it is our responsibility to be faithful to our creator and we decide not to do so. Therefore, I think my stance is that evil is not created, but manufactured though out own free wills. It is a lack of God in our desires that causes the evil to occur. God gave us all we needed to be happy and blissful. However, we used it for harm instead.
For an example, they guy who started the Nobel Peace thing… He was the one who invented the use of explosives. His though was that it was a useful tool for removing rock and other objects so that progress could be made. However, it was used for warfare and other foul things. It was not his intention for these uses, however, though the will of others, this was how it was used and became known for.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
The Problem of Evil?
Ok, I think I am going to have to do this in parts. Here is my rendition of “The Problem of Evil”. The major problem is that it exists. Ok, I am done….
Why are you still reading (like anyone is actually reading this LOL). Anyway, here it goes for real this time.
I see part of the problem as very easy to explain. As humans, we do not truly enjoy being totally happy. Like the movie the Matrix, where they built a simulation that was a utopia, but it was rejected by the humans. This is what we do. As humans, we have to find problems and make them worse. We refuse to look on the bright side and be happy. Let us examine my place of employment. The management has a cook out with hot dogs, chips, pop, and other stuff. It is free, and we can eat on our lunches. However, this can be a “great” source of frustration because people want to complain. A couple could be very happy, in fact, they could be almost blissfully happy. However, then one decides that things “just are not working”. There is no reason; they just think that grass is better somewhere else. Then there is the more direct approach that we set out to harm ourselves such as suicide, or having sex with anyone who comes along.
This self-inflicted evil could be explained it is because we were designed wrong. However, I would say that we, as people, just don’t understand what it is like to be truly happy, so we make it up, fail and this is what happens.
Next, there is the more indirect “self”-inflicted. This tends along the lines of; we are paying for our “parents” sins. This can be direct; such as parental neglect or just the incompetence of the parents have left a void in life. This would account for the poor aborted children, the children who are abused, and so on. The next is a bit more indirect, economic status. For example, I am poor, not my some standards, but by most. I make less than $30,000 (by far), live alone, and go to school full time. This does not leave me with much. However, others don’t work, have nicer apartments than mine, and get more money from the government for school because they do not work. This I would consider some form of evil. I am in this spot because I do not have parents with money. I am “suffering” due to their economic status. This would run along the likes of “the rich get richer”. I plan to do great things, and I am currently doing MUCH better than my parents (overall) and I will continue to do so; however, it is just harder for me. Then there are things that are more indirect.
Here is where the arguments can begin. I have always had a Darwinian thought process on keeping the “weak” alive. I think that in many cases we try to play God by keeping individuals alive long after their life should be extended (look at the nursing homes). I am not sure if it is really God’s will for those people to be kept alive to slowly rot in bed. This goes for sickly people as well. One of my co-workers told me of a situation in her family. One if her family members married a woman who came from a very weak mother. In fact, if it were not for modern day technology the mother nor the wife would have been able to reproduce. Well now, there is a young girl, about 12, who is in Riley hospital. She has cancer and some other type of disease. This child is suffering greatly due to the fact she was born with weak genes. Is this God’s will? Because I am not God, I cannot answer that. (Thankfully!) Now this situation is shown many times in different times and places. However, it is there. Please understand I am not saying let them all die, because I would not presume to say that that would be the will either. I am just saying this is self-inflicted and yes, God lets it happen, but it is caused because we, overtime, are destroying God’s perfect creation.
This brings me to natural disasters… and this is where I will stop for now. I am not ready to tackle this issue. I do hope to get it out within the next week or so.
Why are you still reading (like anyone is actually reading this LOL). Anyway, here it goes for real this time.
I see part of the problem as very easy to explain. As humans, we do not truly enjoy being totally happy. Like the movie the Matrix, where they built a simulation that was a utopia, but it was rejected by the humans. This is what we do. As humans, we have to find problems and make them worse. We refuse to look on the bright side and be happy. Let us examine my place of employment. The management has a cook out with hot dogs, chips, pop, and other stuff. It is free, and we can eat on our lunches. However, this can be a “great” source of frustration because people want to complain. A couple could be very happy, in fact, they could be almost blissfully happy. However, then one decides that things “just are not working”. There is no reason; they just think that grass is better somewhere else. Then there is the more direct approach that we set out to harm ourselves such as suicide, or having sex with anyone who comes along.
This self-inflicted evil could be explained it is because we were designed wrong. However, I would say that we, as people, just don’t understand what it is like to be truly happy, so we make it up, fail and this is what happens.
Next, there is the more indirect “self”-inflicted. This tends along the lines of; we are paying for our “parents” sins. This can be direct; such as parental neglect or just the incompetence of the parents have left a void in life. This would account for the poor aborted children, the children who are abused, and so on. The next is a bit more indirect, economic status. For example, I am poor, not my some standards, but by most. I make less than $30,000 (by far), live alone, and go to school full time. This does not leave me with much. However, others don’t work, have nicer apartments than mine, and get more money from the government for school because they do not work. This I would consider some form of evil. I am in this spot because I do not have parents with money. I am “suffering” due to their economic status. This would run along the likes of “the rich get richer”. I plan to do great things, and I am currently doing MUCH better than my parents (overall) and I will continue to do so; however, it is just harder for me. Then there are things that are more indirect.
Here is where the arguments can begin. I have always had a Darwinian thought process on keeping the “weak” alive. I think that in many cases we try to play God by keeping individuals alive long after their life should be extended (look at the nursing homes). I am not sure if it is really God’s will for those people to be kept alive to slowly rot in bed. This goes for sickly people as well. One of my co-workers told me of a situation in her family. One if her family members married a woman who came from a very weak mother. In fact, if it were not for modern day technology the mother nor the wife would have been able to reproduce. Well now, there is a young girl, about 12, who is in Riley hospital. She has cancer and some other type of disease. This child is suffering greatly due to the fact she was born with weak genes. Is this God’s will? Because I am not God, I cannot answer that. (Thankfully!) Now this situation is shown many times in different times and places. However, it is there. Please understand I am not saying let them all die, because I would not presume to say that that would be the will either. I am just saying this is self-inflicted and yes, God lets it happen, but it is caused because we, overtime, are destroying God’s perfect creation.
This brings me to natural disasters… and this is where I will stop for now. I am not ready to tackle this issue. I do hope to get it out within the next week or so.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Next on the list
The next "real" entries will be about a trail of blood, the problem of evil, and (what the hell) more on the problem of evil. Don't expect anything too deep on that one. As a protestant I am not sure I can delve too deeply on that one :)
Stuck in the Mud
We will start with our “friend” the saint being frustrated for being 30 years of age, and having yet to find the truth. Remember he started when he was 19…
“…I was not some thirty years old, and still ‘stuck in the same mud’ in my avid desire to enjoy things present, even though they tore me in so many directions; and all the time I said, ‘Wisdom ? I will discover it tomorrow. It will appear before my eyes, and I will lay hold on it… Rather, let us seek more diligently, and not despair.’ … “But where shall I seek it? When shall I seek it? Ambrose has no time to spare, and I have no time to read. And the books themselves – where will I seek them? Where and when shall I buy them? From whom shall I get them?’ – ‘I will set aside time, and allot certain hours to my soul’s welfare.’ … my mornings are taken up with my students; what do I do with the rest of my time? Why do I not make that my business?’ – ‘But when will I pay my greeting to my powerful friends, whose backing I need? When Will I prepare new merchandise for my students? What time will I find for my own refreshment and relaxation, after giving my mind to all these concerns?” (6.11.18)
Where do we find time? There always seems time to do things that are not worth our time and energy. We find time to fight with the ones that “love us” and do not forget to find time to drink and party. It seems to me that most of the world could use a lesson on time management. Not so more can be fit into our lives, but so we can reorganize so less items need direct attention. For example, after many years of engagement (to two separate people) I have found there is no reason to continuously fight with the significant other. It is a waste of time and energy. There is no need to worry about things that you cannot change. Lastly, there is absolutely NO reason to spend energy or time on ones who do not care enough about us to not to put us though that kind of hell.
Well enough of my ramblings… what does Augustine say in response to his “responsibilities” to the other mortals…
“’Let them all go hang! Let us cast them away, vain and hollow as they are. Let us betake ourselves to the quest for truth, and nothing else!’ – ‘Life is unhappy, death uncertain; it creeps up on us unexpectedly, and how can we escape it? Or where will we learn what we have neglected here? Will we not rather pay the penalty for our negligence?’ – ‘Suppose death itself cuts short and puts an end to all our senses, and all our cares with them? This question too, must be asked.’ – ‘But for be it that this should be so. It is not for nothing, not in vain that the authority of the Christian faith should stand so high, and be diffused throughout the whole world. Never would the divine power work so many or such great things for us, if the life of the soul were extinguished in the death of the body. Why, then, do we hesitate to abandon our worldly hope and betake ourselves to search for God, and for the blessed life?’ – ‘ But wait. Worldly things too are pleasant, and have no little charm of their own. It is no easy matter to cut short our striving for them, for it would be ridiculous to go back to them afterwards.’" … (6.11.19)
“…I was not some thirty years old, and still ‘stuck in the same mud’ in my avid desire to enjoy things present, even though they tore me in so many directions; and all the time I said, ‘Wisdom ? I will discover it tomorrow. It will appear before my eyes, and I will lay hold on it… Rather, let us seek more diligently, and not despair.’ … “But where shall I seek it? When shall I seek it? Ambrose has no time to spare, and I have no time to read. And the books themselves – where will I seek them? Where and when shall I buy them? From whom shall I get them?’ – ‘I will set aside time, and allot certain hours to my soul’s welfare.’ … my mornings are taken up with my students; what do I do with the rest of my time? Why do I not make that my business?’ – ‘But when will I pay my greeting to my powerful friends, whose backing I need? When Will I prepare new merchandise for my students? What time will I find for my own refreshment and relaxation, after giving my mind to all these concerns?” (6.11.18)
Where do we find time? There always seems time to do things that are not worth our time and energy. We find time to fight with the ones that “love us” and do not forget to find time to drink and party. It seems to me that most of the world could use a lesson on time management. Not so more can be fit into our lives, but so we can reorganize so less items need direct attention. For example, after many years of engagement (to two separate people) I have found there is no reason to continuously fight with the significant other. It is a waste of time and energy. There is no need to worry about things that you cannot change. Lastly, there is absolutely NO reason to spend energy or time on ones who do not care enough about us to not to put us though that kind of hell.
Well enough of my ramblings… what does Augustine say in response to his “responsibilities” to the other mortals…
“’Let them all go hang! Let us cast them away, vain and hollow as they are. Let us betake ourselves to the quest for truth, and nothing else!’ – ‘Life is unhappy, death uncertain; it creeps up on us unexpectedly, and how can we escape it? Or where will we learn what we have neglected here? Will we not rather pay the penalty for our negligence?’ – ‘Suppose death itself cuts short and puts an end to all our senses, and all our cares with them? This question too, must be asked.’ – ‘But for be it that this should be so. It is not for nothing, not in vain that the authority of the Christian faith should stand so high, and be diffused throughout the whole world. Never would the divine power work so many or such great things for us, if the life of the soul were extinguished in the death of the body. Why, then, do we hesitate to abandon our worldly hope and betake ourselves to search for God, and for the blessed life?’ – ‘ But wait. Worldly things too are pleasant, and have no little charm of their own. It is no easy matter to cut short our striving for them, for it would be ridiculous to go back to them afterwards.’" … (6.11.19)
Beauty
What is beauty? This is a grandfather holding his first grandchild! Is he excited, and scared. He has not held a baby in many years. He works on autos for a living and things nothing of a 2nd to 3rd degree burn. However, is this beauty?
What I did not yet see was that this great question turned upon your craftsmanship, O Almighty, who alone work wonders (Ps. 72.18 [Ps. 71.18], Ps. 136.4 [Ps. 135.4]). My mind was proceeding by means of corporeal forms; I defined the beautiful as being that which is harmonious in itself, and the congruent with some other object. This I distinguished between these terms, illustrating my distinction with the whole heap of examples drawn from the corporeal world. I then turned my attention to the nature of the mind, but the false opinion that I held about spiritual matters did not permit me to see the truth. (4.15.24)
Death and loving mortals
I do hope that the “loves” of my life do not read this entry. Funny thing is, I do not think that anyone reads this. Anyway, if you are one of the Gray boys… you may just want to stop reading :)
September of 2004, I lost a man who was so close to me. I did not realize how much he had changed my life, or how much I cared until he was gone. Life changed for his family in more drastic ways than it did for me, I know that I am on the outside of the family, but I did enjoy my time as his daughter. I have no words to express how I felt at that time, and no words to express how I feel now. All I know is going to his house, seeing his wife with another, watching his son put a heartless wretch before the family… all these things are like someone stabbing me in the chest. I see things the way he wanted it, so if things are not so, I get very angry. However, my feelings on the matter don’t matter. All that is left is my devotion to a family name that will soon leave me behind…
Here is the funny thing; here is what reminded me of my missing life:
“What pain darkened my heart! (Lam. 5.17). All that I saw was death. My hometown was torment to me, my home strangely cursed; all the things I had shared with him were, without him, transformed into grievous tortures. My eyes looked expectantly for him everywhere, but he was denied to their sight. I hated everything, because it did not contain him; could when he had been absent during his life. I became the object of my own investigation, and asked my soul repeatedly why it was sorrowful, and why did it trouble me so deeply; and it did not know what to say in return. And if I said, Hope in God (Ps. 42.5, II, Ps. 43.5 [Ps. 41.6, 12, Ps. 42.5]), It would not obey, and rightly; for the friend I had lost was, though a man, a thing more real and better than the illusion in witch I bade my soul trust. Weeping alone was sweet to me, and took the place of my friend among the pleasures of my mind.” (4.4.9)
This and almost a year, the wounds are healing. Good news.
“Time is not empty, nor does it wash over our senses without effect; it works wonders on the mind. For day to day it came and went, and coming and going engrafted other hopes and other memories within me. Little by little it restored me to my former kinds of pleasure, and my grief gave way before them. But in its place came not fresh griefs, but the seeds of them For why had my former grief been able to pierce me so easily and so deeply, if not because I had, as the saying goes, ‘ split my soul on the sand’ by loving a mortal as if he were immortal? What refreshed and renewed me most of all was the solace I derived from other friends, who shared my love for the thing I loved instead of you…” (4.8.13)
September of 2004, I lost a man who was so close to me. I did not realize how much he had changed my life, or how much I cared until he was gone. Life changed for his family in more drastic ways than it did for me, I know that I am on the outside of the family, but I did enjoy my time as his daughter. I have no words to express how I felt at that time, and no words to express how I feel now. All I know is going to his house, seeing his wife with another, watching his son put a heartless wretch before the family… all these things are like someone stabbing me in the chest. I see things the way he wanted it, so if things are not so, I get very angry. However, my feelings on the matter don’t matter. All that is left is my devotion to a family name that will soon leave me behind…
Here is the funny thing; here is what reminded me of my missing life:
“What pain darkened my heart! (Lam. 5.17). All that I saw was death. My hometown was torment to me, my home strangely cursed; all the things I had shared with him were, without him, transformed into grievous tortures. My eyes looked expectantly for him everywhere, but he was denied to their sight. I hated everything, because it did not contain him; could when he had been absent during his life. I became the object of my own investigation, and asked my soul repeatedly why it was sorrowful, and why did it trouble me so deeply; and it did not know what to say in return. And if I said, Hope in God (Ps. 42.5, II, Ps. 43.5 [Ps. 41.6, 12, Ps. 42.5]), It would not obey, and rightly; for the friend I had lost was, though a man, a thing more real and better than the illusion in witch I bade my soul trust. Weeping alone was sweet to me, and took the place of my friend among the pleasures of my mind.” (4.4.9)
This and almost a year, the wounds are healing. Good news.
“Time is not empty, nor does it wash over our senses without effect; it works wonders on the mind. For day to day it came and went, and coming and going engrafted other hopes and other memories within me. Little by little it restored me to my former kinds of pleasure, and my grief gave way before them. But in its place came not fresh griefs, but the seeds of them For why had my former grief been able to pierce me so easily and so deeply, if not because I had, as the saying goes, ‘ split my soul on the sand’ by loving a mortal as if he were immortal? What refreshed and renewed me most of all was the solace I derived from other friends, who shared my love for the thing I loved instead of you…” (4.8.13)
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Another long break...
Wow, this is sad! I have been so engaged with my own silly life that I have not had time to think about this stuff. I will be back next week. My goal is to start making posts several times a week... let us see.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Side Note
I know our dear friend tells us not to hold onto this world. He says that we must remember that things of this world are temporal and do not last. Things here on earth are also unfair.
I very seldom talk about my life… unless it is directly related to my readings… however, tonight I think I will. I hope this does not sound too much like a diary entry.
I have to attempt to remind myself everyday that things will not always work out the way I think they should. I have some brains, talents, and a decent job. However, I have no physical person to come home to or to cook for. However, my sister has a husband, child, she does not have to work and people still break their backs for her. Sad thing is that I am the more attractive one as well. So why does she get everything handed to her and I have to fight for it?
Well that is simple; I fight because I want to do so. It gives me meaning. She does not fight, she is miserable with her life, and she is contemplating leaving her husband.
On the other hand, there is my friend. She is older than I and had the most wonderful family known to man! Now I am not saying that because I was slated to be her daughter-in-law, but she is awesome. She has a wondrous love about her that makes you feel like the world will be ok. However, as of late she has had some problems. She lost her husband of 30 some years 09/04, then his beloved aunt 12/04, then her mother 03/05, and now her niece could pass any day now. I figure this 3-month pattern cannot sustain itself… but I can tell you I do not deem this”fair”. It is times like these that one’s faith in God is threatened and tested. However, you should see her. Overall, she is strong and beautiful. She is one of the greatest role models that I have ever had.
If there are any out there who are reading this, please say a pray for this family. She has two sons one lives across country. The other lives in her home, but he is on a different planet. Well that is enough for personal information… well take care for now.
I very seldom talk about my life… unless it is directly related to my readings… however, tonight I think I will. I hope this does not sound too much like a diary entry.
I have to attempt to remind myself everyday that things will not always work out the way I think they should. I have some brains, talents, and a decent job. However, I have no physical person to come home to or to cook for. However, my sister has a husband, child, she does not have to work and people still break their backs for her. Sad thing is that I am the more attractive one as well. So why does she get everything handed to her and I have to fight for it?
Well that is simple; I fight because I want to do so. It gives me meaning. She does not fight, she is miserable with her life, and she is contemplating leaving her husband.
On the other hand, there is my friend. She is older than I and had the most wonderful family known to man! Now I am not saying that because I was slated to be her daughter-in-law, but she is awesome. She has a wondrous love about her that makes you feel like the world will be ok. However, as of late she has had some problems. She lost her husband of 30 some years 09/04, then his beloved aunt 12/04, then her mother 03/05, and now her niece could pass any day now. I figure this 3-month pattern cannot sustain itself… but I can tell you I do not deem this”fair”. It is times like these that one’s faith in God is threatened and tested. However, you should see her. Overall, she is strong and beautiful. She is one of the greatest role models that I have ever had.
If there are any out there who are reading this, please say a pray for this family. She has two sons one lives across country. The other lives in her home, but he is on a different planet. Well that is enough for personal information… well take care for now.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Sex, Power, Lust, Sex
Sex, Power, Lust, Sex… These are the things we want; ok this may just be my world. However, I know there are more out there than just me. As shameful as it is I have spent most of my life attempting to find out what pleases the opposite sex so I can find a mate. Now I know I am very picky (right now I am going though a catholic phase), but I still have not figured out this relationship thing.
When I was younger, I was told by my future husband (we were engaged) that he wanted me to give myself to him. Being a tender age of 16, I stupidly thought this was a good idea, so I did. When we broke-up he blamed it all on me and the fact that we had had sex on the break-up. Well then came future husband #2. After one time, the second time is much easier. I though that this was what life was about. Fighting… then making up. It is what is on TV, radio, and magazines. This is also all the friends talk about when together.
After being alone for going on 2 years, I have found that this idea is SEVERALLY flawed. One of my catholic buddies and I were talking about relationships. We decided that in order for a relationship to work there could be NO physical contact. This is so true. The moment the hand touches (especially if you are already tainted) it is just a matter of time before you fall again. It also adds an entirely new level of frustration to the relationship. Both parties magically become controlling and jealous, because if X can have sex with me then they can have it with anyone!
Yes, yes, this is a very sad situation. So in order to satisfy this problem there can be no physical contact, no temptations for sex, or at least, very little temptation. I feel really close to Augustine on some of the topics. Many have said that his sexual activities were overplayed… however, I understand what he means. True I am not the angel with the sacred seal still intact; however, I also am not the girl down the street that has so many notches in her lipstick case that it looks like a tooth pick. Well here is something that stuck me about his attitude about sex… I may write about friendship later.
This quote does speak to me, but I would have to replace the past tense verbs with present tense ones…
“But I was wrenched and seething with passion. I had abandoned you, and was drifting wherever the tied of my own desire took me. I had gone beyond all the limits st by your Law, and I did not escape you lash; for who among mortals can? You were always present with me, striking me in your mercy, and smearing the bitterest pains over all my illicit pleasures. This you did to the end that I should seek pleasure without pain; and where I found this, I should find nothing but you, O Lord; you, who fashion pain in your instruction, and smite us, that you may made us whole (Hosea 6.2); who slay us, that we die not apart from you (Deut. 32.39). Where I was in that sixteenth year of my fleshly life, how far was I exiled from the joys of your house (Micah 2.9), when I gladly surrendered myself to the rule of lust – a madness which man, even in his disgrace condition, regards as excessive, and which your laws regard as illegal? My family were not concerned to keep me from plunging headlong by marring me off; they were concerned only that I should learn how to speak as well as possible and to carry an audience with my eloquence.” (2.2.4)
This quote is fromAugustine, (2001) The cofessions. Everymans Publishers plc, London.
When I was younger, I was told by my future husband (we were engaged) that he wanted me to give myself to him. Being a tender age of 16, I stupidly thought this was a good idea, so I did. When we broke-up he blamed it all on me and the fact that we had had sex on the break-up. Well then came future husband #2. After one time, the second time is much easier. I though that this was what life was about. Fighting… then making up. It is what is on TV, radio, and magazines. This is also all the friends talk about when together.
After being alone for going on 2 years, I have found that this idea is SEVERALLY flawed. One of my catholic buddies and I were talking about relationships. We decided that in order for a relationship to work there could be NO physical contact. This is so true. The moment the hand touches (especially if you are already tainted) it is just a matter of time before you fall again. It also adds an entirely new level of frustration to the relationship. Both parties magically become controlling and jealous, because if X can have sex with me then they can have it with anyone!
Yes, yes, this is a very sad situation. So in order to satisfy this problem there can be no physical contact, no temptations for sex, or at least, very little temptation. I feel really close to Augustine on some of the topics. Many have said that his sexual activities were overplayed… however, I understand what he means. True I am not the angel with the sacred seal still intact; however, I also am not the girl down the street that has so many notches in her lipstick case that it looks like a tooth pick. Well here is something that stuck me about his attitude about sex… I may write about friendship later.
This quote does speak to me, but I would have to replace the past tense verbs with present tense ones…
“But I was wrenched and seething with passion. I had abandoned you, and was drifting wherever the tied of my own desire took me. I had gone beyond all the limits st by your Law, and I did not escape you lash; for who among mortals can? You were always present with me, striking me in your mercy, and smearing the bitterest pains over all my illicit pleasures. This you did to the end that I should seek pleasure without pain; and where I found this, I should find nothing but you, O Lord; you, who fashion pain in your instruction, and smite us, that you may made us whole (Hosea 6.2); who slay us, that we die not apart from you (Deut. 32.39). Where I was in that sixteenth year of my fleshly life, how far was I exiled from the joys of your house (Micah 2.9), when I gladly surrendered myself to the rule of lust – a madness which man, even in his disgrace condition, regards as excessive, and which your laws regard as illegal? My family were not concerned to keep me from plunging headlong by marring me off; they were concerned only that I should learn how to speak as well as possible and to carry an audience with my eloquence.” (2.2.4)
This quote is fromAugustine, (2001) The cofessions. Everymans Publishers plc, London.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Short Break
I saw this link, http://catholica.pontifications.net/?p=772, on http://jonathanbennett.typepad.com/afcm/2005/03/divided_we_fall.html. I personally found it interesting. Protestants, you many not want to look.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Saint Augustine at School
Saint Augustine
I have “discovered” this wondrous man. He was born to a saintly mother and a drunken father. His family was not without money, but they were not rich. His parents worked hard to give him the education for him to become a rhetoric master. He was smart and talented; however, he hated his studies for a long time. He wrote in The Confessions that his teachers had to beat him to do his studies. He hated them for it and was not happy that his parents allowed it to happen. He did make it though and by the time he became a bishop he was glad that they pushed him so hard.
I will give more information about his life later, but here is a part of The Confessions where he discusses his learning experience...
"What unhappiness, what humiliation I suffered at their hands, O God my God. It was right and proper, they would tell me, for a boy to pay attention to those who advised him to get ahead in this world, and enjoy pre-eminence in the verbal arts- though these arts are no more than the slaves of human ambition and of the desire for what is falsely called ‘riches’! So I was packed off to school, and set to learning to read and write. I was miserable there, and had no idea what use these skills were; but nevertheless, if I was slow to learn them, I was beaten. This is the system that my elders recommended; and there have been any who living this life before us have built for us those highways of woe by which we were compelled to pass. Truly you have multiplied the toil and grief [Gen. 3.16] of the children of Adam!
But I have found there were man and women who have called out to you; and from them I learnt to perceive you, so far as I could, as some great Being, who, without being visible to our senses, could hear our prayers and help us. For while still a boy I began to call out to you, my Help and my refuge; tongue-tied as I was, I still found a voice and called upon you. And though I was just a little boy, it was with no little emotion that I asked you not to let me be beaten at school. And when you did not hear and answer my prayer (or so I though in my foolish way), older people would laugh at me. Even my parents, who had no wish that anything bad should happen to me, would laugh off the beatings I received, though they were bad enough and heavy enough for me at the time." (1.9.14)
This quote is from
Augustine, (2001) The cofessions. Everymans Publishers plc, London.
I have “discovered” this wondrous man. He was born to a saintly mother and a drunken father. His family was not without money, but they were not rich. His parents worked hard to give him the education for him to become a rhetoric master. He was smart and talented; however, he hated his studies for a long time. He wrote in The Confessions that his teachers had to beat him to do his studies. He hated them for it and was not happy that his parents allowed it to happen. He did make it though and by the time he became a bishop he was glad that they pushed him so hard.
I will give more information about his life later, but here is a part of The Confessions where he discusses his learning experience...
"What unhappiness, what humiliation I suffered at their hands, O God my God. It was right and proper, they would tell me, for a boy to pay attention to those who advised him to get ahead in this world, and enjoy pre-eminence in the verbal arts- though these arts are no more than the slaves of human ambition and of the desire for what is falsely called ‘riches’! So I was packed off to school, and set to learning to read and write. I was miserable there, and had no idea what use these skills were; but nevertheless, if I was slow to learn them, I was beaten. This is the system that my elders recommended; and there have been any who living this life before us have built for us those highways of woe by which we were compelled to pass. Truly you have multiplied the toil and grief [Gen. 3.16] of the children of Adam!
But I have found there were man and women who have called out to you; and from them I learnt to perceive you, so far as I could, as some great Being, who, without being visible to our senses, could hear our prayers and help us. For while still a boy I began to call out to you, my Help and my refuge; tongue-tied as I was, I still found a voice and called upon you. And though I was just a little boy, it was with no little emotion that I asked you not to let me be beaten at school. And when you did not hear and answer my prayer (or so I though in my foolish way), older people would laugh at me. Even my parents, who had no wish that anything bad should happen to me, would laugh off the beatings I received, though they were bad enough and heavy enough for me at the time." (1.9.14)
This quote is from
Augustine, (2001) The cofessions. Everymans Publishers plc, London.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Long time :)
Ok just so you know I am still alive and now my mind is working again. Look forward to posts on Christianity, Paul, and Augustine. As of late, I have been thinking more and more about this Catholic thing and as people talk about theory and religion as well as Christianity they mention Paul and Augustine as well as others. Well this has sent me on a path of discovery. I hope to bring some ideas to light and I want to add a special thanks to Phil at http://umbraecanarum.blogspot.com/ for giving me light in this area as well as my friend Dixon who almost helps me along on a daily basis.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Take One Down!
To break from the general religion thing…I HAVE FINISHED ANOTHER CLASS. For those who do not know I am a “non traditional” student at University of Phoenix Online. The classes are 5 weeks long with one-week break between classes. Every 6 weeks I am one class closer to graduation. This is scheduled for 01/07, and yes, I know it is still quite some time away. However, I am getting closer.
I started at Franklin College where I met the Man of my dreams. We were engaged, I left college (and so did he), I fell in love with his family, then poof we were broken up. Now I am going back to school full time, working full time, and for some reason this does not fill up my time so I have my blog to keep me happy!
Yes, it is a sad useless life, but it is mine. So until later, just remember, press on one (or six) week(s) at a time.
I started at Franklin College where I met the Man of my dreams. We were engaged, I left college (and so did he), I fell in love with his family, then poof we were broken up. Now I am going back to school full time, working full time, and for some reason this does not fill up my time so I have my blog to keep me happy!
Yes, it is a sad useless life, but it is mine. So until later, just remember, press on one (or six) week(s) at a time.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Pope's Problems....
Let me take a moment to digress and sound very much like a consertive Catholic! As I was reading CNN I found some things that were very disturbing to me. Now please bare in mind that I am no one special and my opinion does not mean much…but here it is.
At, http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/18/feedback.europe/index.html/, there is a listing of thoughts issues the next pope will face and I find some of them to be … well a bit retarded.
“Racism is the most single issue that will confront the new pope. Hopefully the new pope will do his level best to enlighten the world that blacks are not sub-human, but equal spiritually and intellectually.George Opone; London, United Kingdom”
Well from my accounting, “Racism” has been a problem for centuries and somehow I think it will continue to be. Not just with “Blacks” vs. “Whites” but anyone against everyone… I do not feel that this will be the “Single issue” that he will have to face.
The biggest challenge facing the next pope will be to make changes concerning the role of women in the hierarchy of the church and issues concerning contraception and choices for women. He will also need to urgently address the question of the validly of celibacy as a requirement for priesthood, since this forced celibacy is, by nature an unnatural condition and has, in the past, led to deviant sexual behavior among many priests.Judith Wuarin; Geneva, Switzerland
WHAT? No! He may have to face this, but it is very challenge. I am not sure how the rules go about the secretary or the treasure of the specific locations, but as far as “office holders” and clergy goes…Men ONLY! Gee, that was hard. Yes, I am a woman, but I feel there is a place for each person and skill, I do not think that God gave women priestly powers. We will get to the contraception issue in a moment! Celibacy should remain! Ok, I’m not sure if anyone else has heard; however, there has been cases of “deviant sexual behavior” with people who are allowed to have sex as well as celibate ones. Besides, I feel that the Priest should be available 100% of the time to his Parrish and this would not allow time to take care of a wife and family has he should. Well unless you want the Priest to neglect Church or domestic duties…or better yet they could have sex outside of marriage! However, this would be, in my opinion, “deviant sexual behavior”! Yes, “our” preists are “only human”; however, I do not feel that a vow of celibacy is too much to ask. ANY unmarried person should make this same “vow”! As far as it being unnatural, I do not agree. Yes it is going against our animal instinct…but that is what our Christian lives are about Gods will not our fleshly desires.
I think the next pope will have to think about some controversial issues, such as abortion and contraceptives. The church will have to rethink if it's worth sacrificing human lives, while AIDS is not contained.Paulo; Lisboa, Portugal
The only “thinking” the Pope will have to do with this one is to figure out how to get people to adhere to God’s will. If one is a Catholic or Christian in general; God’s will should supersede what ever “human” instinct should occur. From what I understand the idea of contraceptives is an attempt to stop from obtaining the results of sexual promiscuity; pregnancy or decease. However, is it not fair to say that just saying no is also a great way to keep these things from occurring? Do we think that our “protections” are higher than God’s will? Ok, now as far as the contraception goes, I do not quite agree with the Catholics; however, if they feel that this is an attempt to stop God’s will, then it is sinful to use them.
Ok, done with this tangent…for now.
At, http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/18/feedback.europe/index.html/, there is a listing of thoughts issues the next pope will face and I find some of them to be … well a bit retarded.
“Racism is the most single issue that will confront the new pope. Hopefully the new pope will do his level best to enlighten the world that blacks are not sub-human, but equal spiritually and intellectually.George Opone; London, United Kingdom”
Well from my accounting, “Racism” has been a problem for centuries and somehow I think it will continue to be. Not just with “Blacks” vs. “Whites” but anyone against everyone… I do not feel that this will be the “Single issue” that he will have to face.
The biggest challenge facing the next pope will be to make changes concerning the role of women in the hierarchy of the church and issues concerning contraception and choices for women. He will also need to urgently address the question of the validly of celibacy as a requirement for priesthood, since this forced celibacy is, by nature an unnatural condition and has, in the past, led to deviant sexual behavior among many priests.Judith Wuarin; Geneva, Switzerland
WHAT? No! He may have to face this, but it is very challenge. I am not sure how the rules go about the secretary or the treasure of the specific locations, but as far as “office holders” and clergy goes…Men ONLY! Gee, that was hard. Yes, I am a woman, but I feel there is a place for each person and skill, I do not think that God gave women priestly powers. We will get to the contraception issue in a moment! Celibacy should remain! Ok, I’m not sure if anyone else has heard; however, there has been cases of “deviant sexual behavior” with people who are allowed to have sex as well as celibate ones. Besides, I feel that the Priest should be available 100% of the time to his Parrish and this would not allow time to take care of a wife and family has he should. Well unless you want the Priest to neglect Church or domestic duties…or better yet they could have sex outside of marriage! However, this would be, in my opinion, “deviant sexual behavior”! Yes, “our” preists are “only human”; however, I do not feel that a vow of celibacy is too much to ask. ANY unmarried person should make this same “vow”! As far as it being unnatural, I do not agree. Yes it is going against our animal instinct…but that is what our Christian lives are about Gods will not our fleshly desires.
I think the next pope will have to think about some controversial issues, such as abortion and contraceptives. The church will have to rethink if it's worth sacrificing human lives, while AIDS is not contained.Paulo; Lisboa, Portugal
The only “thinking” the Pope will have to do with this one is to figure out how to get people to adhere to God’s will. If one is a Catholic or Christian in general; God’s will should supersede what ever “human” instinct should occur. From what I understand the idea of contraceptives is an attempt to stop from obtaining the results of sexual promiscuity; pregnancy or decease. However, is it not fair to say that just saying no is also a great way to keep these things from occurring? Do we think that our “protections” are higher than God’s will? Ok, now as far as the contraception goes, I do not quite agree with the Catholics; however, if they feel that this is an attempt to stop God’s will, then it is sinful to use them.
Ok, done with this tangent…for now.
And "We" have a new Pope!
As everyone already knows we have a new Pope! He is a Germany man, Joseph Ratzinger!
Though I must admit I know very little about him, ya know not being Cathloic my self... So here is what I found at http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/19/ratzinger.hometown.ap/index.html
TRAUNSTEIN, Germany (AP) -- Students at the seminary where Joseph Ratzinger studied for the priesthood as a teenager in the 1940s erupted in cheers Tuesday at the news that their townsman had become the leader of the Roman Catholic Church.
Students at St. Michael's seminary in Traunstein pumped their hands in the air, and the schools director was in tears.
"I'm completely overwhelmed. I can't fathom what happened," said the Rev. Thomas Frauenlob.
"He eats with us. I can't grasp it. I know he's going to do a really good job."
The class then joyfully ran together into church for Mass.
"It's fantastic that it's Cardinal Ratzinger. I met him when he was here before and I found him really nice," said Lorenz Gradl, 16, who was confirmed by Ratzinger in 2003.
Ratzinger was born in the town of Marktl Am Inn, but the family moved often because of his father's job as a police office, and he wrote in his memoirs that he considered Traunstein his hometown.
He visits the town often, and stays in an apartment at the seminary.
People in Traunstein say they've seen Ratzinger's softer side, despite his reputation as a theological hard-liner.
Frauenlob said he has come home to confirm teenagers and had spent time ministering to the old and sick.
Traunstein was where Ratzinger returned after deserting the German army in 1945, and it was the place where he was taken prisoner by U.S. troops.
He was released from a U.S. POW camp in June of that year and hitched a ride home on a milk truck.
Then I also saw http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/19/pope.catholic.react/
Jurandir Arauj, of the National Conference of Bishops Afro-Brazilian Section told Reuters: "It seems that he is too conservative. Hopefully the Holy Spirit can help him change. We expected a person like John Paul. Somebody who could give the Church alternatives ... open the Church to the world, look more at reality."
Ok, it may just be me, but I feel that the more conservative the leaders are the better. We, the people of the world, have become too liberal! But that is just my opnion.
Though I must admit I know very little about him, ya know not being Cathloic my self... So here is what I found at http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/19/ratzinger.hometown.ap/index.html
TRAUNSTEIN, Germany (AP) -- Students at the seminary where Joseph Ratzinger studied for the priesthood as a teenager in the 1940s erupted in cheers Tuesday at the news that their townsman had become the leader of the Roman Catholic Church.
Students at St. Michael's seminary in Traunstein pumped their hands in the air, and the schools director was in tears.
"I'm completely overwhelmed. I can't fathom what happened," said the Rev. Thomas Frauenlob.
"He eats with us. I can't grasp it. I know he's going to do a really good job."
The class then joyfully ran together into church for Mass.
"It's fantastic that it's Cardinal Ratzinger. I met him when he was here before and I found him really nice," said Lorenz Gradl, 16, who was confirmed by Ratzinger in 2003.
Ratzinger was born in the town of Marktl Am Inn, but the family moved often because of his father's job as a police office, and he wrote in his memoirs that he considered Traunstein his hometown.
He visits the town often, and stays in an apartment at the seminary.
People in Traunstein say they've seen Ratzinger's softer side, despite his reputation as a theological hard-liner.
Frauenlob said he has come home to confirm teenagers and had spent time ministering to the old and sick.
Traunstein was where Ratzinger returned after deserting the German army in 1945, and it was the place where he was taken prisoner by U.S. troops.
He was released from a U.S. POW camp in June of that year and hitched a ride home on a milk truck.
Then I also saw http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/19/pope.catholic.react/
Jurandir Arauj, of the National Conference of Bishops Afro-Brazilian Section told Reuters: "It seems that he is too conservative. Hopefully the Holy Spirit can help him change. We expected a person like John Paul. Somebody who could give the Church alternatives ... open the Church to the world, look more at reality."
Ok, it may just be me, but I feel that the more conservative the leaders are the better. We, the people of the world, have become too liberal! But that is just my opnion.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Am I sad?
I was told based on my blog I sounded sad! Well I am very happy...blissful in fact! If you don't believe me then leave a post and I will kick your.... I mean hug you later lol
Light
Smiles :)
This was sent to me by a friend...not like anyone actually reads what I post...but here it is :)
In John 8:12, Jesus declared, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the lightof life." I have been thinking lately about the "disturbing" quality oflight. I don't mean that light is to be despised or that it isultimately negative in this sense. We have all had that experiencewhere we have been sleeping in a dark room and someone comes in andabruptly turns on the light. It isn't that light is bad; it is justthat the invasion of light into that which is dark can be very jarring. And yet, the necessity of a lighted room is beyond argument. If thelight is not introduced, we will fumble around in the dark, run intofurniture, or perhaps even be unaware of a dangerous situation that ishidden in the darkness.Light also serves other purposes besides meer illumination. Itis light, among other things, that encourages biological growth. Furthermore, light can also serve a healing function. Bringing afestering wound into the light and cleaning that wound accelerates thehealing of that wound. In this sense, light can serve an antisepticpurpose. Addressing the infection in a wound is an uncomfortable, evenpainful experience. No one enjoys the steps that are taken when a woundis exposed to light so that it may be cleaned. But in the long run, ofcourse, real healing will not occur without the initial discomfort.There are those times in our lives when the Lord allowsdifficult circumstances to come to light. It is natural, at thosetimes, to feel embarassed, humiliated, frightened, angry, discouraged--arange of emotions. It is also easy to conclude that things have all ofa sudden become worse because the difficult circumstance reaches a newstage of our own awareness--or perhaps becomes so public that othersknow we are having problems. But the Scriptures teach us that, justbecause the light exposes a problem that has been hidden in the dark, itdoes not mean that the problem has gotten worse. Indeed, it might meanthat, finally, a step is being taken in the right direction and healingor resolution is one step closer to being realized. Isn't it possiblethat we should be thanking God for troubles brought to light rather thandoubting His goodness in allowing a situation to become known on somelevel?Jesus told his followers in the Sermon on the Mount that theywere the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14) We are the light of theworld because we are the Body of Christ occupying a dark world until theembodiment of that light returns. Jesus encouraged His followers to lettheir light shine and not to hide it in anyway. Jesus knew that peopleliving in light would be a witness to a world where most people try tokeep their selfish desires and deeds hidden in the dark. And yet, weneed to approach those individuals, regardless of their faith life, whohave been exposed by the light of Christ with real tenderness andcompassion. Rather than pointing fingers, can we come alongside andshare our hearts and lives with those who, voluntarily or not, are nowone step closer to healing because light has invaded theircircumstances? And when the light comes into our lives in this way, canwe be thankful to God for His kindness and mercy in moving us towardhealing rather than cursing the Light for what He has exposed?Father of all light, we praise You that You will not allow us tofumble around in the dark and become lost in our own sin. Thank Youthat Your Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths. Andthank You for the severe mercy that exposes our diseased circumstancesand brings them to light so that they may healed. Teach us to dealtenderly with those who have been brought out of darkness into the lightof Your truth. In the name of the Light of the World we ask this,Amen.
Ok, this is interesting...so am I bad because has the light becomes more intese, due to the summer solace, when I walk outside I moan and scream like a vampire or a warlock? LOL Maybe I need to spend more time in the light and lsee time in the darkenss.
This was sent to me by a friend...not like anyone actually reads what I post...but here it is :)
In John 8:12, Jesus declared, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the lightof life." I have been thinking lately about the "disturbing" quality oflight. I don't mean that light is to be despised or that it isultimately negative in this sense. We have all had that experiencewhere we have been sleeping in a dark room and someone comes in andabruptly turns on the light. It isn't that light is bad; it is justthat the invasion of light into that which is dark can be very jarring. And yet, the necessity of a lighted room is beyond argument. If thelight is not introduced, we will fumble around in the dark, run intofurniture, or perhaps even be unaware of a dangerous situation that ishidden in the darkness.Light also serves other purposes besides meer illumination. Itis light, among other things, that encourages biological growth. Furthermore, light can also serve a healing function. Bringing afestering wound into the light and cleaning that wound accelerates thehealing of that wound. In this sense, light can serve an antisepticpurpose. Addressing the infection in a wound is an uncomfortable, evenpainful experience. No one enjoys the steps that are taken when a woundis exposed to light so that it may be cleaned. But in the long run, ofcourse, real healing will not occur without the initial discomfort.There are those times in our lives when the Lord allowsdifficult circumstances to come to light. It is natural, at thosetimes, to feel embarassed, humiliated, frightened, angry, discouraged--arange of emotions. It is also easy to conclude that things have all ofa sudden become worse because the difficult circumstance reaches a newstage of our own awareness--or perhaps becomes so public that othersknow we are having problems. But the Scriptures teach us that, justbecause the light exposes a problem that has been hidden in the dark, itdoes not mean that the problem has gotten worse. Indeed, it might meanthat, finally, a step is being taken in the right direction and healingor resolution is one step closer to being realized. Isn't it possiblethat we should be thanking God for troubles brought to light rather thandoubting His goodness in allowing a situation to become known on somelevel?Jesus told his followers in the Sermon on the Mount that theywere the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14) We are the light of theworld because we are the Body of Christ occupying a dark world until theembodiment of that light returns. Jesus encouraged His followers to lettheir light shine and not to hide it in anyway. Jesus knew that peopleliving in light would be a witness to a world where most people try tokeep their selfish desires and deeds hidden in the dark. And yet, weneed to approach those individuals, regardless of their faith life, whohave been exposed by the light of Christ with real tenderness andcompassion. Rather than pointing fingers, can we come alongside andshare our hearts and lives with those who, voluntarily or not, are nowone step closer to healing because light has invaded theircircumstances? And when the light comes into our lives in this way, canwe be thankful to God for His kindness and mercy in moving us towardhealing rather than cursing the Light for what He has exposed?Father of all light, we praise You that You will not allow us tofumble around in the dark and become lost in our own sin. Thank Youthat Your Word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths. Andthank You for the severe mercy that exposes our diseased circumstancesand brings them to light so that they may healed. Teach us to dealtenderly with those who have been brought out of darkness into the lightof Your truth. In the name of the Light of the World we ask this,Amen.
Ok, this is interesting...so am I bad because has the light becomes more intese, due to the summer solace, when I walk outside I moan and scream like a vampire or a warlock? LOL Maybe I need to spend more time in the light and lsee time in the darkenss.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
What is a girl to do?
If women are to take care of their families, what does she do if she has no children? What if there is no husband will have her, whom does she take care of? I have no "home", I have my apartment. I have no husband to take care of the bills or the house. I have to work for myself and cry as I have no one to take care of.
What are woman like me to do? What is left? I always thought the worth of the woman was her children, and the worth of a man was his wife and children. I have my job, my friends, niece, brothers, ferrets, and cat; however, it seems empty without the loving arms and strength of a man.
What are woman like me to do? What is left? I always thought the worth of the woman was her children, and the worth of a man was his wife and children. I have my job, my friends, niece, brothers, ferrets, and cat; however, it seems empty without the loving arms and strength of a man.
STOP SELLING CATERPILLARS?
Ok, here is something that I never realized was a problem! There are "Human Rights" groups are demanding that the manufacture of the demolition equipment, Caterpillar to stop selling Bulldozers to a nationality of people. Now since I heard the information April 13, 2005, I thought it would be to people in the Muslim community since that is where the “hard feelings” lie. Well I was very surprised to hear that people want the US company to stop selling to the Jewish community! Wow, I did not know that was “politically” acceptable. I have found that it is death politically to deny the Jewish community. However, here they are. Now I was really surprised when I found that this was not a new issue. I found several item on the Internet about this starting in 2002! Take a look tell me what you think.
Rights Group Calls on Caterpillar to Halt Bulldozer Sales to Israel
by Jim Lobe
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/1123-02.htm
The bulldozers that wreck Palestinian livesCaterpillar’s weapon of destruction
http://www.socialistworker.org/2002-2/412/412_06_Caterpillar.shtml
Rights Group Calls on Caterpillar to Halt Bulldozer Sales to Israel
by Jim Lobe
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/1123-02.htm
The bulldozers that wreck Palestinian livesCaterpillar’s weapon of destruction
http://www.socialistworker.org/2002-2/412/412_06_Caterpillar.shtml
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Life
Well I have decided to just relax instead of killing myself. I have been very stressed...so I decided to look up the lyerics to "Underware Go Outside of The Pants." So here it is! :)
why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. You know whats not natural? Eighty year old dudes with hard ons. That's not natural, but we've got pills for that. We're dedicating all our medical ressources to keeping the old guyserect but were putting people in jail for smoking something that grows in the dirt? You know, we have more prescription drugs now than ever. Everycommercial on TV is a prescription drug ad. I cant't watch TV for four minutes without thinking i have five serious diseases. Like, "Do you ever wake up tired in the mornings?" Oh my god, I have this, write this down! Whatever this is, I have it! Half the time you dont even know what the commercial is, there's people running through fields, or flying kites, or swimming in the ocean. Like, that is the greatest disease ever! How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy! The schools now, it's all about self-esteem in the schools. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. Ifeverybody grows up with high self esteem, whos gonna dance in our strip clubs? Whats gonna happen to our porno industry? These women don't just grow on trees! It takes lots of drunk daddies missing a lot ofdance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fiftybucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a friday with my new high speed connection...Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)Mastermind's not a word that comes up all the time, you keep hearingabout these, ah, these masterminds that are being killed over in the middle-east. Terrorist masterminds! Mastermind is sort of a lofty wayto describe what these guys do, don't you think? They're notmasterminds! "Okay you take bomb, right? And you put in backpack, then you get on the bus and you blow yourself up." "Why do I have to... blow myself up?" "Whos the F---ing mastermind her, me or you?!"Americans, let's face it, we've been a spoiled country for a long time, you know what the number one health risk in america is? Obesity! Obesity! They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic! Like it's Polio! Like, we'll be talking to our grandchildren about it one day, the great obesity epidemic of 2004. "How d'you get through it, grandpa?" "Oh, it was horrible, Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."Nobody knows why we're getting fatter, look at our lifestyles. I'll sit at a drive-thru, I'll sit there for, I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up and making an eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything's mega-mealed and super-sized, "Want biggie fries with that, want a jumbo-fry, wanna go large, want a biggie fry, wanna have thirty burgers for a nickel, you fat mother-f-----? There's room in the back, take it! Want a fifty-five gallon drum of coke with that? It's only three more cents!"Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)Sometimes you've gotta suffer a little in your youth to motivate you to succeed later in life. You think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a microsoft? Of course not! You've got to spend a long time stuffed in your locker with your underwear wedged up your ass before you start thinking: "Im gonna take over the world of computers, you'll see! I'll show them!"We're in one of the richest coutries in the world and the minimum wage is lower now than it was thirty-five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere, this homeless guy asked me for money,the other day, I was about to give it to him, and I thought: he's just gonna use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought: That's what I'm gonna use it on! Why am I judging this poor bastard? People love to judge homeless guys. Like, you give him the money and he's just gonna waste it, he's gonna waste the money! Well he lives in a box! What do you want him to do with it, save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a cd rack? He's homeless! I walked behind this guy the other day, a homeless guy asked him for money, he looks right at the homeless guy, he goes:"why don't you go out and get a job, you bum?"People always say that to homeless guys, get a job. Like it's always that easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume ain't all up to date. I'm predicting some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure McDonalds has an 'Underwear go inside the pants' policy Not that they enforce it very strictly, but technically, i'm sure it's on the books.Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)Baby, Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)
why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. You know whats not natural? Eighty year old dudes with hard ons. That's not natural, but we've got pills for that. We're dedicating all our medical ressources to keeping the old guyserect but were putting people in jail for smoking something that grows in the dirt? You know, we have more prescription drugs now than ever. Everycommercial on TV is a prescription drug ad. I cant't watch TV for four minutes without thinking i have five serious diseases. Like, "Do you ever wake up tired in the mornings?" Oh my god, I have this, write this down! Whatever this is, I have it! Half the time you dont even know what the commercial is, there's people running through fields, or flying kites, or swimming in the ocean. Like, that is the greatest disease ever! How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy! The schools now, it's all about self-esteem in the schools. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. Ifeverybody grows up with high self esteem, whos gonna dance in our strip clubs? Whats gonna happen to our porno industry? These women don't just grow on trees! It takes lots of drunk daddies missing a lot ofdance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fiftybucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a friday with my new high speed connection...Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)Mastermind's not a word that comes up all the time, you keep hearingabout these, ah, these masterminds that are being killed over in the middle-east. Terrorist masterminds! Mastermind is sort of a lofty wayto describe what these guys do, don't you think? They're notmasterminds! "Okay you take bomb, right? And you put in backpack, then you get on the bus and you blow yourself up." "Why do I have to... blow myself up?" "Whos the F---ing mastermind her, me or you?!"Americans, let's face it, we've been a spoiled country for a long time, you know what the number one health risk in america is? Obesity! Obesity! They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic! Like it's Polio! Like, we'll be talking to our grandchildren about it one day, the great obesity epidemic of 2004. "How d'you get through it, grandpa?" "Oh, it was horrible, Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."Nobody knows why we're getting fatter, look at our lifestyles. I'll sit at a drive-thru, I'll sit there for, I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up and making an eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything's mega-mealed and super-sized, "Want biggie fries with that, want a jumbo-fry, wanna go large, want a biggie fry, wanna have thirty burgers for a nickel, you fat mother-f-----? There's room in the back, take it! Want a fifty-five gallon drum of coke with that? It's only three more cents!"Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)Sometimes you've gotta suffer a little in your youth to motivate you to succeed later in life. You think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a microsoft? Of course not! You've got to spend a long time stuffed in your locker with your underwear wedged up your ass before you start thinking: "Im gonna take over the world of computers, you'll see! I'll show them!"We're in one of the richest coutries in the world and the minimum wage is lower now than it was thirty-five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere, this homeless guy asked me for money,the other day, I was about to give it to him, and I thought: he's just gonna use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought: That's what I'm gonna use it on! Why am I judging this poor bastard? People love to judge homeless guys. Like, you give him the money and he's just gonna waste it, he's gonna waste the money! Well he lives in a box! What do you want him to do with it, save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a cd rack? He's homeless! I walked behind this guy the other day, a homeless guy asked him for money, he looks right at the homeless guy, he goes:"why don't you go out and get a job, you bum?"People always say that to homeless guys, get a job. Like it's always that easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume ain't all up to date. I'm predicting some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure McDonalds has an 'Underwear go inside the pants' policy Not that they enforce it very strictly, but technically, i'm sure it's on the books.Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)Baby, Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)
Sluggy
Wow! My mind is dead...OK if you are reading this page (I doubt anyone is) then check out some Sluggy...Quick look shiny thing to distract you.http://www.sluggy.com/
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Life has been crazy...or not
The more pressing my life becomes the more I get done. However, now that my life is not so troublesome I have little to say. I hope to have something with in the next week or so :)
Saturday, March 26, 2005
The Pope
Don't forget to drop a few prayers for the Pope in his time of darkness. He was unable to join a few of the ceremonies so far. He had to watch the "Way of the Cross" procession in solitude from his chapel. He is a strong man and brave. I just pray that God deems it necessary to lift these ailments from him so he can join and properly enjoy this Easter season, as we celebrate the resurrection of Christ.
Why Schiavo case worries the disabled
Why Schiavo case worries the disabled
WILLIAM G. STOTHERS
First thing:Terri Schiavo is not terminally ill. She is severely disabled with a brain injury. She is not hooked up to any life-support systems. For 15 years she has relied on a feeding tube for food and water. Her organs function normally.
So why does anyone want to kill her? "Kill" is the correct word here. Removing her feeding tube will cause her death. She will die by starvation and dehydration.
For those of us in the organized disability rights movement, it looks like Schiavo is being put to death for the crime of being disabled.
Disability makes many people uncomfortable. How many times have you said, or heard someone say, "I would never want to live like that." Or, "I would rather be dead than be like that."
People have said that to me. I am severely disabled and use a motorized wheelchair as a result of having polio 55 years ago.
Doctors told my parents to put me into a "home" and forget about me. He will have no life, they said, move on with your own lives.
They ignored the advice. When I went to school, I was teased and made an object of pity. "I would hate to live like you," kids told me. When I went to university, I was told that "at least you still have your mind." When I went to work in the newspaper business, I was expected to remain at an entry level position; when I left to go to graduate school, my work supervisor told a colleague "what else could he ever hope to do?"
People with disabilities are pushed to the ragged edge of our collective consciousness, stereotyped as dependent, unproductive and pitiful. It is not such a long step to considering such persons burdensome and too costly to maintain and finally, and of course regrettably, expendable.
Think of Schiavo for 15 years being held in so-called custodial care in a nursing home along with persons with Alzheimer's disease, other dementia or cognitive disorders or birth defects. She has had a feeding tube and her guardian (her husband) fought for years to have it removed so that she might die, as he claims she would have wanted.
"It's one thing to refuse a feeding tube for ourselves, but it's quite another when someone else makes that decision," says Diane Coleman, head of Not Dead Yet, a U.S. disability-rights group. "Disability groups don't think guardians should have carte blanche to starve and dehydrate people with conditions like brain injury, developmental disabilities — which the public calls birth defects — and Alzheimer's. People have the right not to be deprived of life by guardians who feel that their ward is as good as dead, better off dead or that the guardian should make such judgments in the first place."
The noisy free-for-all surrounding the Schiavo case as it works its way through the courts again has all the earmarks of political haymaking, rallying the troops in the "Right to Life" and "Right to Die" camps. But there is a serious thread that focuses on the real issue at stake: The right to due process and equal treatment under the law.
Coleman's group has called for a national moratorium on the dehydration and starvation of people alleged to be in a "persistent vegetative state" and not having an advance directive or durable power of attorney.
Senator Tom Harkin, a long-time advocate for people with disabilities, said it eloquently last week as Congress stepped into the case.
"There are a lot of people in the shadows, all over this country, who are incapacitated because of a disability. There ought to be a broader type of a proceeding that would apply to people in similar circumstances ... Where someone is incapacitated and their life support can be taken away, it seems to me that it is appropriate — where there is a dispute — that a federal court come in, like we do in habeas corpus situations, and review it and make another determination."
Schiavo has become a tragic figure, and is likely to become a martyr for one group or another. And that itself is a tragedy. We're likely to never really know her own desire in this case. But as individuals and as a society do have a duty here, and that is to face the fact of the brutal way in which we are permitting her to die.
As a person with a severe disability, I am deeply troubled by the Schiavo saga. I will commit my own wishes to a legal document. But will that be enough? Out here on the ragged edge, we're worried.
William G. Stothers is deputy director of The Center for an Accessible Society in San Diego, Calif. He is a former Toronto Star reporter.
http://www.thestar.com/
WILLIAM G. STOTHERS
First thing:Terri Schiavo is not terminally ill. She is severely disabled with a brain injury. She is not hooked up to any life-support systems. For 15 years she has relied on a feeding tube for food and water. Her organs function normally.
So why does anyone want to kill her? "Kill" is the correct word here. Removing her feeding tube will cause her death. She will die by starvation and dehydration.
For those of us in the organized disability rights movement, it looks like Schiavo is being put to death for the crime of being disabled.
Disability makes many people uncomfortable. How many times have you said, or heard someone say, "I would never want to live like that." Or, "I would rather be dead than be like that."
People have said that to me. I am severely disabled and use a motorized wheelchair as a result of having polio 55 years ago.
Doctors told my parents to put me into a "home" and forget about me. He will have no life, they said, move on with your own lives.
They ignored the advice. When I went to school, I was teased and made an object of pity. "I would hate to live like you," kids told me. When I went to university, I was told that "at least you still have your mind." When I went to work in the newspaper business, I was expected to remain at an entry level position; when I left to go to graduate school, my work supervisor told a colleague "what else could he ever hope to do?"
People with disabilities are pushed to the ragged edge of our collective consciousness, stereotyped as dependent, unproductive and pitiful. It is not such a long step to considering such persons burdensome and too costly to maintain and finally, and of course regrettably, expendable.
Think of Schiavo for 15 years being held in so-called custodial care in a nursing home along with persons with Alzheimer's disease, other dementia or cognitive disorders or birth defects. She has had a feeding tube and her guardian (her husband) fought for years to have it removed so that she might die, as he claims she would have wanted.
"It's one thing to refuse a feeding tube for ourselves, but it's quite another when someone else makes that decision," says Diane Coleman, head of Not Dead Yet, a U.S. disability-rights group. "Disability groups don't think guardians should have carte blanche to starve and dehydrate people with conditions like brain injury, developmental disabilities — which the public calls birth defects — and Alzheimer's. People have the right not to be deprived of life by guardians who feel that their ward is as good as dead, better off dead or that the guardian should make such judgments in the first place."
The noisy free-for-all surrounding the Schiavo case as it works its way through the courts again has all the earmarks of political haymaking, rallying the troops in the "Right to Life" and "Right to Die" camps. But there is a serious thread that focuses on the real issue at stake: The right to due process and equal treatment under the law.
Coleman's group has called for a national moratorium on the dehydration and starvation of people alleged to be in a "persistent vegetative state" and not having an advance directive or durable power of attorney.
Senator Tom Harkin, a long-time advocate for people with disabilities, said it eloquently last week as Congress stepped into the case.
"There are a lot of people in the shadows, all over this country, who are incapacitated because of a disability. There ought to be a broader type of a proceeding that would apply to people in similar circumstances ... Where someone is incapacitated and their life support can be taken away, it seems to me that it is appropriate — where there is a dispute — that a federal court come in, like we do in habeas corpus situations, and review it and make another determination."
Schiavo has become a tragic figure, and is likely to become a martyr for one group or another. And that itself is a tragedy. We're likely to never really know her own desire in this case. But as individuals and as a society do have a duty here, and that is to face the fact of the brutal way in which we are permitting her to die.
As a person with a severe disability, I am deeply troubled by the Schiavo saga. I will commit my own wishes to a legal document. But will that be enough? Out here on the ragged edge, we're worried.
William G. Stothers is deputy director of The Center for an Accessible Society in San Diego, Calif. He is a former Toronto Star reporter.
http://www.thestar.com/
Friday, March 25, 2005
As I digress
Please allow me a moment to digress. The last time I had a cigarette was 02/25/05...and even that day it was only 1...So I am calling to all out there...encouragement is needed. I REALLY want one!!!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Go Purdue!
Ok, comming from Indiana you would expect a title like this to indicate they are playing some kind of Basketball game, but not on this blog.
"In a startling discover, geneticists at Purdue university say that they have found some plants that possess a corrected version of a faulty gene inherited from both parents. The plants were able to archive copies of genes from generations ago, long assumed to be lost forever."
Ok, at this point you may want to ask yourselves where all this information came from. Today I was able to read the newspaper at work...Maybe it is good that most days I am not allowed to do so :)
"In a startling discover, geneticists at Purdue university say that they have found some plants that possess a corrected version of a faulty gene inherited from both parents. The plants were able to archive copies of genes from generations ago, long assumed to be lost forever."
Ok, at this point you may want to ask yourselves where all this information came from. Today I was able to read the newspaper at work...Maybe it is good that most days I am not allowed to do so :)
Little Boy...Now Dead!
I read today that a teenager, Jeff Weise, shot and killed classmates and his grandfather! They blame it on the fact that this child was neo-Nazi! They posted a picture on him and I can say if he came home with one of my little brothers I would have invited him in and made him dinner. Where does a young 16-year-old go SO very wrong? I mean it is just SO sad! Life is scary; I just pray that these school shootings stop before my heart breaks.
Terri Schiavo
Ok, here is some information I posted at http://umbraecanarum.blogspot.com/2005/03/rage-and-death.html#comments
I want to know if anyone out there has the answers to the following questions.
1) Why can they not insert a "belly button" I am not sure the real name, but that is what my cousin has? They insert a plastic thing so the “food mix stuff” could be inserted directly into the stomach.
2) Who is financially responsible for the medical bills and does that have any link to the decision process?
3) Lastly, I am not sure why it is OK to let someone waist away slowly…
Here are a few other interesting facts reported in the Indianapolis Star today.First in the “poll” taken shows that 70% thought that it was inappropriate for Congress to get involved, and 67% claim that the only reason that the political leaders are keeping her a live is for political advantage.
I want to know if anyone out there has the answers to the following questions.
1) Why can they not insert a "belly button" I am not sure the real name, but that is what my cousin has? They insert a plastic thing so the “food mix stuff” could be inserted directly into the stomach.
2) Who is financially responsible for the medical bills and does that have any link to the decision process?
3) Lastly, I am not sure why it is OK to let someone waist away slowly…
Here are a few other interesting facts reported in the Indianapolis Star today.First in the “poll” taken shows that 70% thought that it was inappropriate for Congress to get involved, and 67% claim that the only reason that the political leaders are keeping her a live is for political advantage.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
World Water Day 2005
What is the world coming to these days. I went to search for something at work and found out that it was "World Water Day". I went on a quest to find out what this means. I found that it is a day set aside to remember that life can not go on w/o water. It is also to spread the realization that most of the world does not have clean water.
At first this was very disturbing to me. I mean really do we really NEED a day to remember that our bodies are made of mostly water? I started thinking that maybe we do. I mean do we really understand how important water is to God's creation or plans?
http://www.rferl.org/featuresarticle/2005/3/4447B08D-0E2B-4581-8A8A-199BFBCCE449.html
At first this was very disturbing to me. I mean really do we really NEED a day to remember that our bodies are made of mostly water? I started thinking that maybe we do. I mean do we really understand how important water is to God's creation or plans?
http://www.rferl.org/featuresarticle/2005/3/4447B08D-0E2B-4581-8A8A-199BFBCCE449.html
Monday, March 21, 2005
I tell you the Truth
I recently had the opportunity to watch The Gospel According to John. One striking thing is the amount of time Jesus stated "I tell you the truth". Here is an idea, what is "the truth". I do not feel that humans can fully undertake and know the truth. Our truth is simply the facts as we see them though our simple minds. It is no wonder that the followers then and now do not understand the truth. I have decided the only ones that can fully know the truth of any one situation is one that is in a perfect divine position.
Cost benefit analysis
Ok, a friend and I were talking and we decided that we are very glad that God, being an all knowing and extremely merciful deity. I decided that if I were god and before I created the earth I did a cost/benefit analysis...we would not be here today. I find that the earth is more trouble than it is worth. I cannot imagen an intity that can find more than a glimer of light on this perfect creation we have turned to rabble. To top it all off he so loved this place that he sent his son so we may learn to bring glory to him. Again, I am glad God is god and not me.
To let live or die?
Right now the idea of to let live or die is a very hot topic in the news. I have discussed before the hard topic on weather some people should be artifically kept alive or not. I have came to the idea that if a person can understand happyness and sadness then they should be allowed to experiance this. However, if the person can only experiance sadness and pain then I fell it would be more humane to end this circle of suffering. In addition if the person does not have the ability of feeling anything, then he or she must be allowed to exit. For example, a young girl I know, she will never beable to talk, walk, or read. However, she experiances joy and love and brings joy and love. Her parents are happy and there are times she is happy. She should be given every chance under the sky. But a few years back a baby was born lacking a brain. The child had a brain stem therefore grew and did not need outside assistance to obtain air. However, this child could never know what life is, there was no way for the child to obtain the salvation of Jesus or know the love of his/her parents. So why should the parents or child be forced to suffer all the pain in the world without the joy?
Friday, March 18, 2005
Is it destiny?
Tonight I was sitting and listing to a minister talk about free will vs predestination. As this was being discussed I had an idea! Ok, this may be lost on some, but just follow me here. Parents seem to ALWAYS know what the children are doing or are going to do. Sometimes they step in, sometimes they do not. Well it is not that the child does not have the free will, but the child will act in his/her nature. Well how much more will God know what we are going to do. I mean if earthly human people know that you are going to do X then why can't the heavenly father know we will do Y?
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Life, Love, and the such
I am begging to notice that things do not always work out as one would hope they would. Oddly, I have found when I have it "all figured out" in reality I have nothing figured out. Why is this? Do I do not stop and think about what I do when I am doing it...or just wait for everything to fall apart before I exam it. Like love, I have been engaged two times and both fell apart at about the point that they should have been at the strongest point. I have eyes for others now...but it seems that they do not nor ever will share this idea. However, this does not matter to me right now. I figure that since this is "figured out" then I should have the "real" answer soon. The funny thing is I have known the guys I have a crush on for ever, and my "eyes" for them come and go as random as the the leaves blow. I just hope that the "winds" do not send me back towards my previous loves...I want new ones.
Monday, March 14, 2005
The Old Covenant
Ok, under the old covenant...was anyone outside of the Jewish faith allowed to get to heaven. It is my understanding that the Jews were the chosen people and it was only after Jesus' death that others were invited to have the privilege. So what happened to all of the other people pre-Christ?
Saturday, March 12, 2005
One Wonders (well at least I do)
I wonder how people see life so differently. Example: my father sees life as a challenge and a strange experiment to keep the poor person poor and him always to busy to enjoy himself. Then his wife sits on the couch all day drinking and slowly dying (though she did eat more today than normal). Next there is my little sister that just assumes life will be given to her on a platter... and she does not care who is serving. I, much like my father, demand to work for everything, but I am also extremely picky... all of us shared many experiences, but we are all SO different. I find it interesting that there can be that many different ideas around in the world.
Friday, March 11, 2005
God and Blood
In my readings for Sunday School it mentioned that the Jewish/Christian God was one of blood lust. I am not sure if I agree with this statement. The suggestion does lead me to wonder why was it necessary for blood to be the "cure all."
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